DanceyPants MovieFace

2008-11-02T19:37:00.000-08:00

Things We Lost In The Fire (2007)
Seen on DVD 23rd Oct 2008

This movie is absolutely BRILLIANT!
It's a MUST SEE for everyone.

I can't beleive it took me this long to see it.

STORY: 6.5/7
After Audrey (Halle Berry) loses her husband (David Duchovny) to a senseless murder, she invites her husbands best friend to live with her at the family home. Jerry (Benicio Del Toro) is a recoverring heroin addict and this lifestyle has always cause Audrey to hate him, however, in her time of need it seems that his presence is one of the few things holding her together.

ACTING: 6.5/7
Halle Berry and Benicio Del Toro are both SO DAMN BRILLIANT!
There isn't even anything to say about how good they are. Special mentions are also going to have to go to Micah Berry and Alexis Llewellyn who played Audrey's children.

OVERALL: 6.5/7

You simply HAVE TO see this movie!
Everybody does!

Interesting Trivia -
- Harper goes to see "Sunset Blvd" at the cinema

The Happening

2008-11-02T19:28:00.000-08:00

The Happening 2008
Seen on DVD 23rd Oct 2008

STORY: 3.5/7
I was actually quite unimpressed with this movie. It was enjoyable to watch, but it didn't seem to have the intelligence of M Night Shyamalan's previous work.

ACTING: 4/7
Zooey Deschanel is totally brilliant. I love her! Marky Mark was pretty good in this role, but occasionally got extremely "cute" when trying to be frightened, which was just funny.

GORE RATING: 3/7
I know this isn't REALLY a horror but it did have some TINY amounts of gore in it.

OVERALL: 3.5/7

Sex And The City

2008-11-02T19:07:00.000-08:00

Sex And The City (2008)
Seen on DVD 19th Oct 2008

ha ha ha ha ha - Get Carried away.

STORY: 5.5/7
The story of the movie basically follows on from the television series. It takes some very predictable twists, but is still extremely enjoyable to watch.

ACTING: 6/7
These women have lived the lives of these characters for YEARS, so of course they are going to be brilliant as they step back into the stilettos. However, Jennifer Hudson was less than perfect as Louise, Carrie's new assistant.

SOUND / SCORE: 4.5/7
Fergie. 'Nuff said ? Ha ha ha
In all honesty, the soundtrack for this movie was quite enjoyable.

OVERALL: 5/7

Burn After Reading

2008-11-02T18:45:00.000-08:00

Burn After Reading 2008
Seen At The Movies 18th Oct 2008

This movie had SO MUCH hype that i was already a little bit dissapointed with it when i saw it.

STORY: 4/7
The movie had a pretty interesting story which had every character intertwined and things. I just don't think the story really went anywhere all that interesting.

ACTING: 4/7
John Malkovich was quite good in his role, kind of creepy and disturbed, but funny at the same time. Everyone else was a bit annoying though. George Clooney and Brad Pitt both seem to be famous purely for being Geroge Clooney and Brad Pitt. My stand out for this movie is Tilda Swinton who rocks my face off constantly.

SOUND / SCORE: 5.5/7
The score for this movie is probably the ONLY thing that kept me watching. It was big and dramatic with some bold movements. Very nice.

OVERALL: 4/7

The Adventures Of Priscilla: Queen Of The Desert

2008-10-24T02:42:00.000-07:00

The Adventures Of Priscilla: Queen Of The Desert (1994)

Seen on TV - I don't actually remember the date.

STORY: 5.5/7
Anthony "Tick" Belrose AKA Mitzi Del Bra (Hugo Weaving) takes a roadtrip into the center of Australia to perform a drag show. He takes along friend Bernadette Bassenger (Terrence Stamp) and fellow performer Adam "Felicia" Whitely (Guy Pearce.)

ACTING: 5/7
Hugo Weaving is quite believable and makes himself a very deep and thoughtful character as does Terrence Stamp. Guy Pearce, on the other hand, plays an absolute stereotype of the flaming-homosexual-drag-queen.

SCORE / SOUND: 5.5/7
The soundtrack for this movie is totally great. It's uber-gay and fun fun fun. Of course, there is a bit of ABBA in it, which is gross, but it's just so cool.

OVERALL: 5.5/7

The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy

2008-10-24T02:25:00.000-07:00

The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy (2005)
Seen on DVD 11th Oct 2008

DOUGLAS ADAMS = GENIUS!!!

STORY: 6.5/7
Honestly, this book (that the movie is based on) is PURE BRILLIANCE!! You really HAVE TO read it.

ACTING: 5/7
Mos Def is so much fun and Martin Freeman is cute and weird and funny as Arthur Dent. The one to watch though, is Zooey Deschanel. I freaking love her!

OVERALL: 6/7

Saw

2008-10-24T01:24:00.001-07:00

Saw (2004)
Seen on TV 10/11th Oct 2008

Yes, I saw this on the 10th slash 11th of October.
It was on TV in the middle of the night and passed over the midnight barrier.

STORY: 6/7
So as you know, this is the first in the famed Saw series. It is also undoubtedly the best of the lot. All of the sequels went for nothing more than cheap gore shocks. This first movie is actually extremely entertaining to watch and quite thrilling.

ACTING: 4.5/7
Cary Elwes is so much better than i ever expect him to be. Not just in this, in everything.

GORE RATING: 6/7
Well, it's a saw movie, so there's lots of blood, and evil contraptions built to kill people.

OVERALL: 5/7

Return Of The Living Dead 3

2008-10-24T01:07:00.000-07:00

Return Of The Living Dead 3 (1993)
Seen on DVD 10th Oct 2008

STORY: 3/7 - (but funny)
Curt and Julie are in love. After an accident which leaves Julie dead, Curt takes her body to his fathers lab where he uses the re-animating gas from all the other "Living Dead" dead movies to bring her back.

ACTING: 3.5/7
Melinda Clarke is hilarious at the best of times.

GORE RATING: 4.5/7

Well, of course there's the obligatory limb ripping and flesh eating but the cake-taker in this movie is Julie's self mutilation as shown on the cover of the DVD.

OVERALL: 4/7

Lots of fun weird zombie action.

Journey To The Center Of The Earth

2008-10-24T01:04:00.000-07:00

Seen At The Movies 9th Oct 2008

SECOND VIEWING

Smart People

2008-10-24T00:48:00.001-07:00

Smart People (2008)
Seen on DVD 8th Oct 2008

Brilliant Brilliant Movie

STORY: 5.5/7
Lawrence (Dennis Quaid) is lonely and alienated since the death of his wife. His daughter (Ellen Page) is self involved and over-achieveing. His brother is self involved and, well, self involved. Things start to change around home when Lawrence finds himself without a licence, and romantically involved with his doctor (Sarah Jessica Parker.)

ACTING: 5.5/7
Everyone in this movie is actually quite amazing to watch. I'm not a big Dennis Quaid fan generally, but he was very impressive here. Ellen Page was totally great as always.

(i'm behind on these reviews so i'm gonna keep 'em short)

OVERALL: 5.5/7

Muppet Treasure Island

2008-10-13T23:17:00.000-07:00

Muppet Treasure Island (1996)

Seen on DVD 8th Oct 2008

This is probably my favourite of the Muppet movies.

STORY: 5.5/7
This is, as you may have guessed, a re-telling of the classic story by Robert Louis Stevenson. The Muppets give the story a touch of humour, without taking away the darkness of the story as a whole. Jim and his friends (Rizzo the rat and the Great Gonzo) go on an adventure to find hidden treasure, but encounter trouble in a group of pirates, led by Long John Silver.

* The Pirates *

ACTING: 5.5/7
Most of the acting in this movie is done by Muppets, which means it's top notch!!! but the humans do a pretty good job too. Firstly, Kevin Bishop plays our hero Jim Hawkins. He does a pretty good job. The star of the movie, however, is Tim Curry, who plays a brilliantly evil Long John Silver. There are also appearances by Billy Connolly and Jennifer Saunders.

* Tim Curry as Long John Silver *

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 6/7
I figured this would be the appropriate place to discuss the puppets? They are absolutely brilliant in this movie. Who would've ever thought that the costuming for puppets would be so damn good?? Look out for a very wooden Statler and Waldorf and Dead Tom.

* Fozzie Bear in costume *

SONGS: 6.5/7
Every single song in this movie is BRILLIANT!
"what was that musical number that just happened? it was like: CABIN FEVER, AHH"

OVERALL: 6/7

Big Fat Ugly Bug-Face Baby-Eating O'Brien

Interesting facts -
- Tim Curry lists this as his favourite role

Selena

2008-10-13T21:56:00.000-07:00

Selena (1997)
Seen on DVD 7th Oct 2008

I remember watching this movie constantly as a child.
I assume I had it on video or something?

STORY: 6/7
- TRUE STORY
This movie tells the true story of Selena Quintanilla-Pérez, the latin pop sensation.

ACTING: 5/7
Jennifer Lopez before she got super famous. She actually does a really good in this role. Edward James Olmos is also total worthy of a mention as Abraham Quintanilla (Selena's Father.)

* Jennifer Lopez as Selena *

SONGS: 6/7
Selenas music is awesome-cool!! I couldn't help but dance in my chair just a little bit.

* Selena Singing *

OVERALL: 6/7

Step Brothers

2008-10-13T21:32:00.000-07:00

Step Brothers - Previously Reviewed
Seen in GOLD CLASS 6th Oct 2008

So i've already reviewed this movie, but i'll put in a little Gold Class rant.

Firstly, we got gold class tickets for the price of regular tickets, and all wehad to do was eat one of the best ice-blocks around (Magnum Equador Dark.)

We got into the gold class bar and sat around for a while on couches reading the menu.

We ended up orderring a strawberry smoothie and a double sundae to share.

The sundae ending up being CRAZY HUGE! they served it in a small fishtank!

The chairs weren't as comfortable as i expected... or maybe it was because they were too comfortable and i'm so used to the c'dale chairs ?

The movie was possibly funnier the second time.
I guess it was cause i knew the jokes were coming.

GOLD CLASS
OVERALL: 5/7

Dr. Dolittle 2

2008-10-13T21:22:00.000-07:00

Dr Dolittle 2 (2001)

Seen on TV 5th Oct 2008

STORY: 3/7
Now that he's a super famous animal doctor, John Dolittle is being tracked down by animals everywhere. After a beaver asks him to help stop a forest from being cut sown, he has to convince a bear that has lived in captivity to roam in the wild and form a mating pair.

ACTING: 2.5/7
Eddie Murphy annoys me. Steve Zahn was ok as Archie, the bear. The highlight was probably that Joey Lauren Adams (chasing amy) voiced a squirrel.

OVERALL: 2.5

Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed

2008-10-13T21:18:00.000-07:00

Seen on DVD 4th Oct 2008
MOVIE HAS ALREADY BEEN REVIEWED

Journey To The Centre Of The Earth

2008-10-13T20:58:00.001-07:00

Journey To The Center Of The Earth (2008)
Seen At The Movies 4th Oct 2008

STORY: 3.5/7
It wasn't a brilliant story, but i guess it wasn't really that bad. Sean has gone to stay with his uncle Trevor for 10 days, while his mother moves to Canada. While at Sean is at Trevor's house they go out on a scientific study which Sean's dad had done ten years before. They end up finding a way to the center of the earth, using the book by Jules Verne as a guide.

ACTING: 4/7
Brendan Fraser has never been the best actor in the world. In fact, I wouldn't even go as far as saying he was even a good actor. Anita Briem was quite entertaining to watch, but it was Josh Hutcherson who really carried this movie.

* Fraser, Hutcherson and Briem *

SCORE / SOUND: 3.5/7
The soundtrack for this movie was... ok.

OVERALL: 4/7

The Lost World: Jurassic Park

2008-10-12T19:56:00.001-07:00

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)
Seen on DVD 3rd Oct 2008

Part of the Jurassic Park triple pack.

STORY: 5/7
Not only are the dinosaurs still roaming around on the island we saw in "Jurassic Park" but there is actually another island coverred in dinosaurs that we never even knew about. Mr Hammond has sent a team in to study the dinosaurs living on "Site B" which includes Dr Ian Malcom from the first movie!

ACTING: 4.5
Jeff Goldblum was made for the character of Ian Malcolm. He mumbles and rants so well! The standout here would have to be Julianne Moore though. She's awesome.

CINE / VISUAL EFFETCS: 6/7
Best movie dinosaurs ever! Honestly, they just look so freaking good!

SCORE / SOUND: 6/7
Who doesn't know the Jurassic Park theme music? It's big and bold and exciting and lends itself perfectly to the granduer of giant dinosaurs.

OVERALL: 5.5/7

The Brothers Solomon

2008-10-12T19:37:00.000-07:00

The Brothers Solomon (2007)
Seen on DVD 3rd Oct 2008

I was honestly expecting this movie to be quite crap, but it was surprisingly funny.

STORY: 4.5/7
John (Will Arnett) and Dean (Will Forte) are brothers who are, let's say, creepily close. After their father falls into a coma, they decide that they need to have a child so that he can have a grandchild before he dies. Unfortunately, neither of them have ANY luck with women, so they decide to find a surrogate mother.

ACTING: 5/7
Will Arnett is so fantastic to watch when he plays a brainless weirdo (Arrested Development, Blades of Glory and basically everything else he's ever in.) I'm not all too familiar with Will Forte but he was so funny! A special mention has to go to Kristen Wiig who was HILARIOUS as Janine.

* Will Arnett *

One thing here before I give it it's overall score.
The openning credits for this movie were written in COMIC SANS!
what the heck is that about?
MOVIES shouldn't use comic sans.

OVERALL: 6/7

This movie was so much better than I ever expected.

Interesting Facts -
- Will Arnett is married to Amy Poehler
- Amy Poehler made a movie about a surrogate mother
- Bill Hader makes a guest appearance

Bride Of Chucky

2008-10-06T23:52:00.000-07:00

Bride Of Chucky (1998)
Seen on DVD 2nd Oct 2008

This is, of course, the last of the GOOD Chucky movies.
This is also the place that Chucky made the turn from horror with a touch a comedy, to simply hilarious horror. It really is an 80's classic for the 90's.

STORY: 5.5/7
The tales of the murderous Good Guy Doll "Chucky" are all but fogotten. Andy Barclay is nowhere to be found and all seems to be right with the world. That is, until Charles Lee Ray's old girlfriend Tiffany tracks down the police storage locker that the "remains" of the Chucky doll are stored in. Tiffany takes the remains, sews themn all back together in a beautifully grotesque display of her love, and using her "Voodoo For Dummies" book, she restores Chucky's soul into the body of the doll.

Dissapointed and angry with her, Chucky kills Tiff and traps her soul in the body of a bridal doll. The pair (after a dramatic makeover scene) trick a pair of young lovers into carrying the dolls on a road trip to find the human body of Charles Lee Ray so that they can find the Heart of Damballa abd finally be out of their doll bodies.

* Tiffany and Chucky *

ACTING: 5/7
Brad Dourif. ('nuff said?) and if you could ever possibly improve on that, it would be the inclusion of Jennifer Tilly. Tilly and Dourif are absolutely brilliant together with some hilarious banter going on between them. This movie also contains my favourite ever Katherine Heigl role.

* Nick Stabile and Katherine Heigl *

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7
The soundtrack to this movie is super cool hardcore fun action. Lots of those movie-appropriate rock songs by White Zombie, Rob Zombie, Static X, Slayer and of course Blondie.

GORE RATING: 5/7
"Were you born with that knife superglued to your hand or what?
For god's sake Chucky, drag yourself into the 90s.
Stabbings went out with Bundy and Dahmer.
You look like Martha Stewart with that thing."

* Jennifer Tilly as Tiffany *

OVERALL: 6/7

Interesting facts -
- DVD cover / poster is a spoof of "Scream 2"
- Horror Movie character refferenced in openning scene
- > Jason - Mask
- > Michael Myers - Mask
- > Leatherface - Chainsaw
- > Puppet Master - Dolls
- > Creepshow - "the crate"
and
- > Freddy Krueger - Glove

Child's Play 3

2008-10-06T23:24:00.000-07:00

Child's Play 3 (1991)
Seen on DVD 2nd Oct 2008

STORY: 5/7
It has been 8 years since Andy encounterred Chucky at his foster home and he has been "disturbed" ever since. Being unable to to be homed through the foster care system, Andy is a new recruit at the Kent Military School. At the same time (co-incidence much) the now dilapidated Good Guy Doll factory goes back into production. The first doll off the line is, of course, everyone's favourite maniac Chucky. He goes in search of Andy as usual, although once at Kent he realises that this is a new body, and he can choose a new victim to transfer his soul into.

ACTING: 5/7
Brad Dourif IS Chucky. Justin Whalin (Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman) has stepped into the role of teenage Andy Barclay and he does it quite well and the unfortunate role of Chucky's new body-interest Tyler is played (oh-so-annoyingly) by first-timer Jeremy Sylvers.

* Jeremy Sylvers as Tyler *

SCORE / SOUND: 3.5/7
Again, there is nothin all too special here.

GORE RATING: 4.5/7
There's some ok throat slitting and some shooting.

Andy getting his military haircut from Sgt. Botnick

OVERALL: 5/7

The Lost Boys: The Tribe

2008-10-06T22:57:00.000-07:00

Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)
Seen on DVD 2nd Oct 2008

Yes, that's right, it's a LOST BOYS (1987) sequel.
Starring COREY FELDMAN in his role as Edgar Frog.

STORY: 4/7
Siblings Chris and Nicole have just moved to Luna Bay where they meet a whole group of new people. After Nicole goes out for a night with Shane, she comes home different. After going to find the local surfboard shaper Edgar Frog, Chris is told that Nicole is now a vampire. Frog and Chris must work together to destroy the vampires.

ACTING: 4/7
Well, for one, Corey Feldman is in it. He has never been the best actor in the history of time, but has always been opne of the most entertaining to watch! There is also another Sutherland in this movie. Angus Sutherland (walking in the footsteps of half-brother Keifer) is the bad guy Shane.

Edgar Frog: board shaper / vampire hunter

SCORE / SOUND: 4/7
It's an average straight-to-video horror movie soundtrack

GORE RATING: 3/7
To be honest, i don't remmeber anything all that gorey at all, which is sad, considerring it's a vampire movie and they're supposed to be somewhat blood-tastic.

* Angus Sutherland as Shane *

OVERALL: 4/7

Interesting Facts -
- The Goonies appears in this film on DVD
- Corey Feldman was "Mouth" in The Goonies

Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory

2008-10-06T22:39:00.001-07:00

Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory (1971)
Seen on DVD 2nd Oct 2008

Basically, we wanted to listen to ONE song from this movie (Cheer Up Charlie)

STORY: 5/7
Based on the classic story by evil child-eating Roald Dahl, Willy Wonka is the story of Charlie, a poor little boy who wins a chance to go inside the most wonderful place on the planet; Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

ACTING: 4/7
The kids in this movie play their stereotypes quite well, to be honest, i LOVE watching Julie Dawn Cole throw her little hissy fits as "Veruca Salt." Of course, the title character is played by (Satan himself) Gene Wilder. I guess he does a good job, but i'm really too scared of him to notice.

SONGS: 6/7
I love these songs. I often catch myself singing "don't care how, i wan't it noooooooow!!" and there is no denying the brilliance of the song "The Candy Man."

OVERALL: 4/7

I wish Gene Wilder wasn't so frickin' creepy all the time.

Childs Play 2

2008-10-06T22:22:00.000-07:00

Child's Play 2 (1990)
Seen on DVD 2nd Oct 2008

Chucky's Back!!

STORY: 5.5/7
Since the events of the first movie, Andy Barclay's mother has been put into a mental care institution, and Andy has been put into a foster home. In order to overcome rumours, the creators of the Good Guy Doll put the toy back into production, starting with the actual Chucky doll from the murders. Finding himself back in his doll body, Charles Lee Ray sets out to find Andy and finish what he started.

ACTING: 5/7
Alex Vincent is back as Andy, a little bit older andpretty good at what he does. Of course we have the brilliant Brad Dourif as the voice of Chucky and newcomer Christine Elise as Andy's new foster sister Kyle.

* Chucky and Kyle *

SCORE / SOUND: 4/7
It's a pretty good score, nothing all too fantastic, but it's a CHUCKY movie!!

GORE RATING: 5.5/7
Eyeballs are inserted into faces, extra arms and legs are jabbed all over the place... and a knife right into a wrist. This all goes without even mentioning the death-by-toys

OVERALL: 6/7

Chucky is one of the greatest movie slashers ever!
This sequel out-does the original for me too.

Naked Lunch

2008-10-02T23:14:00.000-07:00

Naked Lunch (1991)
Seen on DVD 1st Oct 2008

almost vaguely based on a book by William S. Burroughs
all about DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS DRUGS!!

STORY: 4/7
Bill Lee is an ordinary guy who works as an exterminator using the yellow stuff: bug dust. One day, his entire world turns around as he finds out that he is an agent working for interzone, or against them i'm not sure. It is his job to write reports on his typewriter / scary talking insect. Then there's the black stuff, and all kinds of other scary things.

* The scary bug typewriter *

ACTING: 5/7
Everyone does a GREAT job in this movie. Roy Scheider is an absolute pleasure to watch, and Julian Sands is totes cool too.

* Peter Wller as Bill Lee *

SCORE / SOUND: 3.5/7
I don't have any specific memories of the score to this movie, but i do remember being enthralled in it, which means the score must have been quite good.

OVERALL: 6.5/7

None of the specific aspectsof this movie were all that great, but as a whole it is pure entertainment, even if you don't quite know exactly what 's going on.

The Wiz

2008-10-02T22:29:00.000-07:00

The Wiz (1978)
Seen on DVD 30th Sept 2008

You've got to ease on down the road!

STORY: 4/7
Basically, it's the Wizard of Oz. Not even basically, it just IS the Wizard of Oz. The things is, it's set in New York with an all black cast.

ACTING: 3/7
It's a really entertaining movie, but the acting just didn't impress me.

* The cast *

SONGS: 6/7
Even though it was the first time i'd ever seen the movie, or heard the songs, i found myself totally singing along. Lots of fun upbeaty motowny style coolness.

OVERALL: 5/7

Peter And The Wolf: A Prokofiev Fantasy

2008-10-02T06:39:00.000-07:00

Peter And The Wolf: A Prokofiev Fantasy (1993)
Seen on DVD 29th Sept 2008

STING!!!

it's narrated by STING!!!!

STORY: 4/7
Peter is playing outside and he sees a bird, a duck and a cat. All of these animals (including peter) have their own musical themes. Peters grandfather comes out and takes peter back inside. A big wolf comes along and eats the duck. Peter and the bird form a plan to catch the wolf so that a group of hunters can take him away.

ACTING: 2/7
The only real acting in this is by Peter and the Grandfather. All of the other characters are puppets, or musicians playing their instruments. Peter is absolutely pitiful.
You could include the dancers into this, which would raise the score, because they are so much fun to watch.

* Peter and the Wolf *

SCORE / SOUND: 6.5/7
This is the only reason you would ever buy this DVD, other than to see a puppet of Sting. Everyone in the world would recognise Prokofiev's music here, especially Peter's theme.

This piece of music is just so much fun, and it's educational at the same time. Children can learn about the different types of instruments as they see the story unfold.

OVERALL: 5/7

Interesting Facts -
- also includes other pieces by Prokofiev

Jawbreaker

2008-10-02T04:55:00.000-07:00

Jawbreaker (1999)
Seen on DVD 28th Sept 2008

awesome awesome awesomeness!

STORY: 5/7
Courtney, (Rose McGowan) Julie, (Rebecca Gayheart) Marcie, (Julie Benz) and Liz are the coolest kids in their highschool. For Liz's birthday the other girls 'kidnap' her as a joke. It is all innocent fun until the jawbreaker that was stuffed into Liz's mouth lodges in her throat and kills her. The girls have to silence a witness, deal with the body and get ready for their senior prom.

ACTING: 6/7
Rose McGowan is absolutely mind shatteringly brilliant in this movie. I love her so much! In fact the whole cast did a dazzling job. Judy Greer did a great job as the nerdy "Fern Mayo" and of course, who can fail to mention JACKIE BROWN herself... Pam Grier!!

SCORE / SOUND: 6/7
The soundtrack to this movie is PACKED FULL of awesome 90's tunes.

OVERALL: 5.5/7

Interesting facts -
- Marilyn Manson makes a guest appearance
- Manson and McGowan were dating at the time of filming

St Trinians

2008-10-02T04:50:00.000-07:00

Seen on DVD 28th Sept 2008

Horton Hears A Who!

2008-10-02T04:30:00.000-07:00

Horton Hears A Who! (2008)
Seen on DVD 25th Sept 2008

AKA - Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who!

One of the best known Dr Seuss stories, along with Cat in the Hat and The Grinch.

STORY: 6/7
Horton is an elephant from the Jungle Of Nool. One day he hears a voice coming from a speck as it floats past him. As it turns out, there is a whole world living on the speck. They are the Who's (the people from "the Grinch") Horton makes it his personal quest to get the Who's and their world to safety, no matter what.

ACTING: 5.5/7
Jim Carrey and Steve Carell are absolutely brilliant. It's nice to see old school talent working with one of the 'talented new kids.' The supporting cast is also absolutely fantastic, consisting of: Carol Burnett, Seth Rogen, Isla Fisher, Jesse McCartney, Will Arnett and personal favourite, Amy Poehler!

* Steve Carell and Jim Carrey *

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 6.5/7
Being CG, this whole movie is a special effect! It looks absolutely amazing, especially the water, which people don't often get looking that good. The fur on the animals is also quite brilliant.

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7
This movie sounds almost as good as it looks

The Mayor of Whoville's only son JoJo

OVERALL: 6/7

St Trinian's

2008-10-02T03:58:00.000-07:00

St Trinians (2007)
Seen on DVD 25th Sept 2008

STORY: 4/7
Annabelle Fritton has just transferred to St Trinian's where her Aunt (Rupert Everett - yes indeed) is the headmistress. After a while of not fitting in, Anabelle must team up with the other girls to save the school from shutting down.

ACTING: 4.5/7
The acting is pretty good, i guess. Rupert Everett is quite funny as both Camilla and Carnaby Fritton. The girls are entertaining, but my stand out is probs Russell Brand as Flash.

* Russell Brand as Flash *

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 3.5/7
This movie is generally pretty cool looking, but at one point it goes all split-screen and stupid. It's just so annoying.

SCORE / SOUND: 5.5/7
The soundtrack for this movie is all kinds of awesome. Sing-alongs galore and then of course there's the "St Trinian's Chant" at the end of the movie... it never fails to make me smile!

* The St Trinian's school girls *

OVERALL: 5/7

Interesting facts -
- Colin Firth is in it:
- they mention Colin Firth being in "Girl With A Pearl Earing"
- Miss Fritton's dog is named Mr Darcy (Pride and Prejudice - Colin Firth)
- Colin Firth is wet in EVERY MOVIE he's in!

Sweeney Todd In Concert

2008-09-30T02:55:00.000-07:00

Sweeney Todd In Concert (2001)
Seen on DVD 25th Sept 2008

I was told that this DVD was no longer carried by JB Hi-Fi and that I basically had no chance of ever finding it. Well guess what, i DID find it, and it was only $10. Which takes my sweeney todd collection up to 3 DVDs and 2 CD soundtracks.

Anyway...
This one is odd to review using the same movie things.

It is the musical "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street" but it is set as a concert performance no sets, and with a full orchestra on stage.

STORY: See Previous Review

ACTING: 5/7
George Hearn is always brilliant. I mean that man is AMAZING and he will always be my favourite Sweeney. Patti LuPone's Mrs Lovett is one of those love-it-or-hate-it performances. She has what is undoubtedly an AMAZING voice, and is quite a good actor, but i just don't like her treatment of the character. Mrs Lovett should be a bit more crazy, and a bit less sexy than LuPone makes her. Of course, one of the main reasons i've been hunting down this DVD is none other than Neil Patrick Harris as Toby. AWESOME!

* Neil Patrick Harris *

SET-UP / STAGE DESIGN: 6/7
- Check out my sweet ability to make things up on the spot.
The stage design for this concert is amazing. Clearly you couldn't just have all the actors standing in a line across the front of the stage, because Sweeney has so much simultaneous action in different places, so the stage was set up with layered runways around the orchestra, allowing to actors to move to different levels.

* Hearn and LuPone on stage *

SONGS: 6.5/7
Clearly this stage show has the songs from the movie version, but it also has all the songs that it skipped! and some of the songs that weren't even in the filmed version of the stage-show (with Angela Landsbury.) Patti LuPone manages to belt out some stunning notes, and George Hearn is, well, George Hearn.

* Patti LuPone *

OVERALL: 5.5/7

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story

2008-09-29T20:55:00.000-07:00

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story (2008)
Seen on DVD 25th Sept 2008

John C. Reilly is a FUNNY FUNNY MAN!

STORY: 5.5/7
- "Did you hear that? I'm Dewey Cox's 12-year-old girlfriend!"
Dewey Cox was never anything special, in fact it was his brother, Nate, who was the special one. After Dewey accidently cuts nate in half during a machete fight, he leaves home to make himself "double great" to make up for what happened. He goes on to become one of the greatest performers ever!

ACTING: 5/7
- "I ache for a man's touch... and by a man's touch, I mean a penis in my vagina"
John C. Reilly is a genius! Tim Meadows also does a brilliant job as Sam. The favourite would probably be Jenna Fischer though, who is absolutely fall-down-funny as Dewey's lover Darlene. Jenna is the favourite of the cast, not counting the NUMEROUS cameos including: Ghostface Killah, Jewel, Jack White, Frankie Muniz, Jack Black, Justin Long, Paul Rudd and JASON SCHWARTZMAN!

* Jenna Fischer and John C. Reilly *

SONGS: 6/7
- "You think we don't know what you're talking about when you say: take my hand?"
The songs in this movie are so bad, but somehow so good at the same time. I personally have been singing "walk hard" for almost a week now!!

* Dewey Cox singing WALK HARD *

OVERALL: 6/7

This movie is absolutely hilarious!
everyone should see it!

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street

2008-09-25T22:13:00.000-07:00

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street (2007)
Seen on DVD 21st Sept 2008

Stephen Sondheim is a FRIGGIN GENIUS!
As is Tim Burton.

From the very first moment I heard that Burton was working on a movie adaptation of Sweeney i went a little bit mental. One of my all time favourite directors, working on one of my all time favourite musicals.

STORY: 6/7
- "It's Todd now. Sweeney Todd... and he will have his revenge"
Benjamin Barker (Johnny Depp) was the best barber in all of London, but when the wicked Judge Turpin (Alan Rickman) took a fancy to his wife Lucy, Barker was sent to Botany Bay on a false charge. 15 years later "Sweeney Todd" returns to London for his revenge. He takes his old room above Mrs Lovett's (Helena Bonham Carter) "Meat Pie Emporium" where they set in place a devious plan involving the disposal of bodies through a meat grinder and some pastry.

Depp as Sweeney Todd and H.B.C. as Mrs Lovett

ACTING: 5.5/7
- "There was a barber and his wife, and she was beautiful"

A lot of people were very disappointed with Johnny Depp's portrayal of Sweeney Todd. I admit that his singing wasn't up to the standard of, let's say, George Hearn, but i think he acted the role quite well. He gave Sweeney so much anger, but at the same time, so much control. Helena Bonham Carter was ALWAYS going to be a brilliant Mrs Lovett. She herself has said that she even dressed up as Mrs Lovett as a child, and who knew she could sing that well!!

Helena in her Mrs Lovett undergarments

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 6/7
- "In these once familiar streets I feel shadows... ghosts"

Sweeney Todd is of course, the perfect place for Burton to use his trademark dark styles. It is an extremely dark movie, except of course for the "By The Sea" segment, which exists only as a fantasy. I love the way Burton can do dark so well, but when he makes the switch to bright and happy, it's even BETTER! In terms of special effects, there is a LOT of throat slitting in this movie (as you could imagine - being called the "demon barber.")

On the boardwalk in "By The Sea"

SCORE / SOUND: 6.5/7

I don't believe there was ANY original music used in this movie ?
Stephen Sondheim wrote the show, so it's all his incidental music used in between the songs.

Mrs Lovett and one of the worst pies in London

SONGS: 7/7
- "There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, and it's filled with people who are filled with shit, and the vermin of the world inhabit it... but not for long"

Man oh man, it's difficult to say how much i really love this musical. The songs are all so complicated and intricately written, yet they are somehow so simple at the same time. One thing that worked so so well in the original Sondheim musical was that he made the music basically continuous. He didn't want there to be long gaps between songs, therefore making the songs "something special" and taking you out of the story. While the movie version does have a few less songs and a bit more talking, they still use the music in such a great way.

Another thing to mention in refference to the songs in this musical is... no-one in the cast except for Laura Michelle Kelly (Beggar Woman) has had any previous training or experience in musical theatre. I think I'm going to have to give a special mention in terms of singing to Edward Sanders who played Toby. From the moment this boy appeared on screen belting out the introduction to "Pirelli's Miracle Elixir" i was MESMERISED!

Helena Bonham Carter and Edward Sanders

GORE RATING: 5/7
- "It's man devouring man, my dear! and who are we to deny it in here?"

There's some really nice blood spraying action and some neck breaking that, despite being quite sick and gory, never failed to get a response of laughter in the cinemas.

OVERALL: 6.5/7

Sweeney Todd and Mrs Lovett

Kill Bill Vol1

2008-09-25T21:40:00.000-07:00

Kill Bill: Volume One (2003)
Seen on DVD 21st Sept 2008

INSTANT CLASSIC!

Uma + Quentin = AWESOME!

STORY: 5/7
- "Revenge is never a straight line. It's a forest, And like a forest it's easy to lose your way"

The bride (as she is known) used to be an assasin with the "Deadly Viper Squad" until she left them to get married. The leader of the Deadly Vipers, Bill, wasn't going to allow this to happen, and had her murderred at her own wedding. The only problem was, she didn't die. The bride wakes up from her coma, 4 years later, and takes her revenge on the people who put her there.

ACTING: 6.5/7
- "If any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now's the fucking time!"

Uma Thurman is UMA THURMAN for hecks sake, not to mention Lucy Liu, Daryl Hannah or Vivica A. Fox. If you like hardcore women doing it for themselves, this is the one. Everyone is great in this movie. I'm gonna give my special mention to Chiaki Kuriyama though. Quentin Tarantino saw her in "Battle Royale" and was so impressed that he wrote the role of GoGo just for her.

* Chiaki Kuriyama as Gogo *

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 6/7
- "Look at her. Hay-colored hair, big eyes. She's a little blood-spattered angel"

This movie is so great looking, and i'm gonna say it's all the genius of Quentin Tarantino. I especially liked the scene where the sheriff looked at the bride's "dead" body through his green sunglasses. The black-and-white / colour switched were quite cool also.

SCORE / SOUND: 6.5/7

The soundtrack for this movie is fun fun fun and all kinds of cool. Even now, just thinking about Kill Bill i find myself whistling the little song that Daryl Hannah whistles as she walks down the hallway of the hospital.

* Daryl Hannah as Elle Driver *

GORE RATING: 5.5/7
- "Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now"

Lots of blood, and lost limbs. A decapitation or two. The anime segment, while being a cartoon, has some brilliant gore in it; exploding limbs and lots and lots of blood.

OVERALL: 6/7

- You didn't think it was gonna be that easy, did you?

- You know, for a second there, yeah, I kinda did.

Python

2008-09-24T23:12:00.001-07:00

Python (2000)
Seen on DVD 20th Sept 2008

Don't you just hate it when you think you've found a funny, new, interesting, crappy horror movie, only to find out that you've already seen it before, like a thousand times.

STORY: 2.5/7
There is this GIANT snake loose in a small town, but the local authorities don't know that, so when bodies start showing up, they start looking for a murderer.

ACTING: 2/7
The acting in this is TERRIBLE! Except of course for the reason that we rented it, Freddy Krueger himself, Mr Robert Englund! He is always so entertaining to watch. I'm also gonna give a mention to Casper Van Dien (Starship Troopers) for not being scared to wear a VERY lame moustache and use a STUPID accent.

* Robert Englund *

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 5/7
Some of the visual effects were actually quite cool. For one there was a GIANT snake!

* A freaking huge snake head *

SCORE / SOUND: 2/7
You know how crappy horror movies sound.

GORE RATING: 4/7
There's some nice mostly digested corpses and a decapitation or two.

* Casper Van Dien - ha ha ha *

OVERALL: 3/7

Interesting Facts -
- There's a sequel!

Rat

2008-09-24T23:01:00.001-07:00

Rat (2000)
Seen on TV 20th Sept 2008

This was just randomly on tv, and i was too lazy to change the channel.
It ended up being a pretty interesting movie.

STORY: 5.5/7
Conchita (Imelda Staunton) and her family are being hounded by the local media after it has gotten out that Conchita's husband, Hubert (Pete Postlethwaite) has turned into a large white rat.

ACTING: 4/7
The acting in this movie was pretty cool, it did take me a while to get into it though, due to the HEAVY accents. The thing is, Imelda Staunton and Pete Postlethwaite are both awesome cool all of the time.

* Imelda Staunton and her ratty husband *

OVERALL: 5/7

Not the best movie ever made, but for a bit of random entertainment it was quite interesting and quite intelligent too.

Peter Pan

2008-09-24T22:21:00.000-07:00

Peter Pan (2003)
Seen on TV 20th Sept 2008

STORY: 5/7
It's Peter Pan. He's the boy who never grows old!

ACTING: 5.5/7
Jeremy Sumpter is a pretty cool Peter Pan, but Jason Isaacs easily steals the show as Mr Darling and Captain Hook. He is a scary scary man, but manages to reveal a slightly more human side to the 2 dimensional character of Hook.

SCORE / SOUND: 4.5/7
Pretty cool score. Nothing all too special but it totally gets the job done.

OVERALL: 5/7

Step Brothers

2008-09-24T21:46:00.000-07:00

Step Brothers (2008)
Seen At The Movies 19th Sept 2008

This has to be one of the FUNNIEST movies i've EVER seen. I laughed out loud (yes, i lol'd) more than I think I ever have before in a movie theatre. SO SO SO GOOD!!

STORY: 6.5/7
Nancy (Mary Steenburgen) and Robert (Richard Jenkins: Six Feet Under) meet at a conference and fall in love. They decide to get married and live together, the only complication is that they both have 40 year old sons, who still live at home. Brennan (Will Ferrel: Anchorman) and Dale (John C. Reilly: Chicago) absolutely hate each other, until they are forced to work together to save their unemployed living-at-home lifestyles.

ACTING: 6/7
Will Ferrel and John C. Reilly are brilliant at what they do, but the entire cast of "Step Brothers" works so well together. Richard Jenkins was so unexpectedly funny that i quite literally fell off of my chair laughing. Make sure that you pay attention to what he wanted to be when he grew up!! The stand out for this movie though is probably the duo of Adam Scott and Kathryn Hahn as Brennan's brother and his wife.

* Kathryn Hahn and Adam Scott *

SCORE / SOUND: 6/7
To be honest, i don't really remember much of the score... but this movie is funny enough that it totally doesn't even matter at all!!

SONGS: 5.5/7
Brennan has the voice of an angel. I mean, it's like Fergie meets Jesus!!!

OVERALL: 6.5/7

John C. Reilly as Dale and Will Ferrel as Brennan

The Phantom Of The Opera

2008-09-24T21:10:00.000-07:00

The Phantom Of The Opera (2004)
Seen on DVD 19th Sept 2008

People keep talking about how this movie ruined the phantom of the opera. I totally disagree. I think this movie is quite brilliant and a lot of correct choices were made.

STORY: 5/7
Christine is a dancer at the famous Opera Populaire, and is being trained to sing by a mysterious teacher known as the "angel of music." When the opera's owner leaves town, and sells it to a pair of inexperienced men, the "angel of music" decides to take complete control and make his student the star of the show.

ACTING: 5/7
Everyone talks about how Gerard Butler destroyed this movie.. I personally think he did quite well for a singer with no previous experience. Patrick Wilson is also pretty cool as Raoul.

* Emmy Rossum and Gerard Butler *

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 5.5/7
The opening sequence is enough for me to give this a 5. When the chandelier is pulled back up to the roof and the room bursts into life and colour it is just BRILLIANT!! Then of course there's the masquerade sequence with big awesome dancing and fans and glittery awesomeness.

* Masquerade *

SONGS: 6.5/7
I freaking love this musical. Heck, i love ALL musicals, so it doesn't take that much.

OVERALL: 5.5/7

Interesting facts -
- Minnie Driver is the only actor who didn't sing
- There were 3 chandeliers made
- The chandelier weighed 2.2 tonnes

2 Days In Paris

2008-09-19T22:40:00.000-07:00

2 Days In Paris (2007)
Seen on DVD 19th Sept 2008

Written and Dirceted by
AND Starring - Julie Delpy

STORY: 4.5/7
Jack (Adam Goldberg) and Marion (Julie Delpy) have been dating for 2 years before they decide to go to Paris (where Marion is from.) While in Paris, Jack meets basically every man that Marion has ever dated which sets him into a bit of a fit of jealousy. Ok, so i know the story sounds a bit less cool than you'd want but it's really good, i swear!

ACTING: 6/7
This is where this movie takes it's own. Julie Delpy and Adam Goldberg are both soo talented! Delpy is effortlessly sexy and completely nonchalant, whereas Goldberg carries around so much tension and bottled anger. Goldberg also manages to be a bit less jewish. There is an appearance by the ever-so-wonderful Daniel Bruhl which was quite amazing. Speaking basically perfect english too, which came as a surprise.

* Daniel Bruhl *

SCORE / SOUND: 4.5/7
A bunch of cute songs.

OVERALL: 6/7

The Jetsons: The Movie

2008-09-19T22:31:00.000-07:00

The Jetsons: The Movie (1990)
Seen on DVD 17th Sept 2008

I got this movie really thinking it would have the song "Eep Op Ork Ah Ah" but it doesn't, so i was really dissapointed.

STORY: 3/7
George Jetson is offered a promotion (Vice President of Spacely's Sprockets) as long as he goes to the new factory that's far away in space. When George gets there, he finds out that the factory is having a LOT of problems, which it turns out are being caused by cute little fluffy things. Meanwhile, daughter: Judy is having some trouble of her own, when they moved she was forced to leave behind her boyfriend and she is really lonely. Luckily, there's a strange blue boy in the mall.

ACTING: NONE
None of that in this movie, sorry.

SCORE / SOUND: 3/7
The soundtrack is full of crappy songs by Tiffany who is voicing Judy.

OVERALL: 3/7

10,000 BC

2008-09-19T22:16:00.001-07:00

10,000 BC (2008)
Seen on DVD 17th Sept 2008

There really wasn't much to enjoy in this film.
There was a sweeping timeless love story (blergh)
some really big mammoths (pretty cool)
and a sabretooth (awesome, but not in it enough)

STORY: 3/7
it's 10,000BC and everyone has dreadlocks. There is a prophecy that a great hunter will arise and he, along with the child with the blue eyes, will carry the people into a brighter future. The hunter they find is D'Leh (Steven Strait - The Covenant.) The child with the Blue eyes is kidnapped by "Four Legged Demons!" (men on horses) and D'Leh takes a group of hunters to go get her. There's a SABRETOOTH... the sabretooth comes back a bit later. The End.

ACTING: 2.5/7
Can you call broken english acting? My issue isn't that they speak english, it's just that they speak broken english. If you're just going to make them speak in a way we understand, make them SPEAK!

* The Sabretooth - he's so pretty *

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7
The score was pretty good, nothing all that special though

OVERALL: 3.5/7

Hey Hey It's Esther Blueburger

2008-09-19T21:27:00.000-07:00

Hey Hey It's Esther Blueburger (2008)
Seen on DVD 17th Sept 2008

Australian film as it SHOULD be.

Written and Directed by Cathy Randall

STORY: 6/7
Esther Blueburger (Danielle Catanzaritti) is a young jewish girl who is about to have her Bar-Mitzvah. She is extremely unpopular at her private school and her family don't listen to her, this is, until she meets Sunni (Keisha Castle-Hughes.) Sunni attends the local public school and is a bit of a trouble maker. After things get too hard to deal with, Esther decides she'll go to school with Sunni instead.

ACTING: 5.5/7
Keisha Castle-Hughes and Toni Collette are ALWAYS amazing, in fact, i'd be surprised to see them do something bad. Newcomer Danielle Catanzariti is an absolute PLEASURE to watch. She manages to somehow be the most adorable kid on screen, and still carry that naive, insecurity that haunts the character. I'm gonna give a special mention to Essie Davis who played Esther's mother. She was so great in her character.

* Sunni and Esther at school *

SCORE / SOUND: 6.5/7
The soundtrack to this movie is so so so gooood!
The place to start would probably be Paul Mac and Bertie Blackman's "The Only One." This song is pure pop goodness and is ABSOLUTELY amazing. If you don't end up sionging along, then there must be something wrong with you. The rest of the soundtrack is a lot of cool Australian music, including a song sung by none other than the movie's star Danielle Catanzariti (man it's a fun name)

* Paul Mac and Bertie Blackman - The Only One *

OVERALL: 6.5/7

I love any movie that let's me SERIOUSLY say: I laughed, I cried, I learned.
This movie has some high points that will have you laughing out loud, and low points that will seriously have you sick to the stomach.

Ali G Indahouse

2008-09-19T21:06:00.000-07:00

Ali G Indahouse (2002)

Seen on DVD 17th Sept 2008

Before "Borat" got famous, Sacha Baron Cohen was Ali G: a gangsta from West Staines.

STORY: 4.5/7
Ali G and his posse want to save the local community centre, and in the process he gets the attention of the Prime Minister's people. In a crazy scheme, Ali ends up running as a member of parliament, and does his bit to better the country by keeping it real.

ACTING: 5/7
Sacha Baron Cohen is just so good at his characters. You could be forgiven for forgetting that Cohen is actually an intelligent man. Rhona Mitra also stars as the skanky assistant of the Deputy Prime Minister.

SCORE / SOUND: 5.5/7
The score for this movie is FUN FUN FUN. Huge sweeping orchestras make a brilliant contrast to Ali G in all his G-ness.

OVERALL: 5/7

Blades Of Glory

2008-09-19T20:32:00.000-07:00

Blades Of Glory (2007)
Seen on DVD 17th Sept 2008

STORY: 5/7
Jimmy MacElroy (Jon Heder - Napoleon Dynamite) and Chazz Michael Michaels (Will Ferrel - Anchorman) are rivals in the field of male professional figure skating. After getting into a fight on the ice however, they are both banned for life from competing in men's singles. There was nothing in the rules top stop them from qualifying for pairs though.

ACTING: 5/7
Ferrel and Heder are quite good at playing the immature, angry characters but it's Will Arnett and Amy Poehler (Gob and Krindy - Arrested Development) who totally steal the show as Stranz and Fairchild the brother / sisterskating team.

* Stranz and Fairchild *

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7
Pretty cool soundtrack. Look out for an interesting rendition of "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas.

* Will Arnett and Amy Poehler *

OVERALL: 5/7

Interesting facts -
- Heder and Ferrel actually learned to skate.

Son Of Rambow

2008-09-19T20:03:00.000-07:00

Son Of Rambow (2007)
Seen At The Movies 16th Sept 2008

Written and Directed by - Garth Jennings

SO SO SO GOOD!
I thought that this movie was gonna be pretty good but it completely exceeded my expectations. Everyone needs to see it! Everyone!!

STORY: 6.5/7
Will is a member of the Brethren, which means he is not allowed to watch movies or TV. Lee Carter is a trouble maker who wants to make a movie for the "Screen Test" competition. After Will sees "First Blood" (1982) at Lee Carter's house, he becomes obsessed with his own imaginary story, in which he is John Rambo's son. Lee and Will team up to make this story into a movie.

Along the line, Will becomes friends with Didier: a French exchange student who is way too cool for school. The problem with that is, Lee Carter and Didier don't get along at all, making the production of the film a little bit harder than it already was.

* Will's book of ideas *

ACTING: 6/7
I love movies with small kids in them, they're always so much fun. It's especially good when the kids can actually act! Bill Milner (Will) and Will Poulter (Lee Carter) are absolutely AMAZING in this movie and Jules Sitruk is effortlessly cool as Didier.

* Didier and his wannabes *

SCORE / SOUND: 6/7
Very good score! lots of awesomeness... and the soundtrack is pretty great too. Lots of brilliant early 80's music. (it's set in '82)

* Some of Will's pictures *

OVERALL: 6.5/7

You really do have to go see this movie!

It's a little bit reminiscent of the work of Michel Gondry.

Empire Records

2008-09-19T19:46:00.001-07:00

Empire Records (1995)
Seen on DVD 16th Sept 2008

Why is there a dog on the cover of the DVD ?
I don't remember there being a dog in the movie at all.

that's stupid!

STORY: 5/7
- Empire Records, open 'til midnight, this is Mark... midnight!
The story of a group of teenagers (and Anthony LaPaglia) who work in a small indie record store. When they can't make a payment to the owner, the store goes under the treat of become a "Music Town." A chain store.

ACTING: 6/7
- I tried to kill myself with a Lady Bic
The acting in this move is quite good. They are all stereotypical characters, but as the movie progresses the actors are capable of taking these 2D characters anbd adding humanity to each of them

* Ethan Embry as Mark *

SCORE / SOUND: 7/7
- B R I L L I A N T ! ! !
The soundtrack for this movie is so freaking good!!! It has all kinds of music in it, and it's ALL good!!

OVERALL: 6/7

Tropic Thunder

2008-09-17T20:42:00.005-07:00

Tropic Thunder (2008)
Seen At The Movies 15th Sept 2008

SOOOOO FUNNY!
One of the funniest movies to come out in a while!

STORY: 6/7
A group of well known, but very different, actors all work together to make "the greatest war movie ever" That is, if their egos don't get in the way.

Ben Stiller is Tugg Speedman (the action star)
Robert Downey Jr. is Kirk Lazarus (the blackened Australian award winner)
and Jack Black is Jeff Portnoy (the drug-addicted comedian.)

When it is seen that these three will have troubles working together, it is decided to move them into the actual jungles of Vietnam and shoot the whole thing guerrilla style, to catch the actual fear. The only problem with this plan is, the ACTUAL war-zone they find themselves walking into.

ACTING: 5.5/7
I never thought that Ben Stiller would be this funny. (Or this BUFF to be honest, he has impressive guns!) The entire cast works so well together, but my stand out is probably Jay Baruchel. When the "stars" get so involved with themselves that they become useless, it is up to Kevin Sandusky (Baruchel) tp pull the team together and get the job done. Nick Nolte manages to kick some major ass, despite being about a thousand years old. There are also appearances from Tom Cruise, Bill Hader and Steve Coogan.

* Jay Baruchel *

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 5.5/7
HUGE explosions and lots of fire and blood and severed limbs! The action in this movie was unbelievably good!

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7
I totally caught myself humming along to the score of this movie. It was so impressive, full of big crescendos and heavy percussion.

GORE RATING: 4.5/7
I know this isn't a horror movie, but it managed to have some gore in it. There was a set of severed hands that were a nice combo of funny and gross and there was also some nice intestines that kept to the funny theme.

* FUNNY FUNNY Bill Hader and Steve Coogan *

OVERALL: 6/7

FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY!

Bill Hader might be one of the funniest men on the planet! Every time he was on screen i was giggling, even when he wasn't doing anything.

Bad Girls From Valley High

2008-09-17T20:42:00.004-07:00

Bad Girls From Valley High (2005)
Seen on DVD 15th Sept 2008

Julie Benz.
Is there anything she isn't in ?
ha ha ha

STORY: 3/7
Danielle, Brooke and Tiffany are the popular girls at their high school, aka "The Huns." A year ago they killed a girl because Danielle wanted to date her boyfriend. When a new girl arrives at school and The Huns begin to age extremely fast, they beleive it is the ghost of the girl they murderred.

ACTING: 4/7
Julie Benz seems like she's having a lot of fun with this. She was one of the followers in 1999's "Jawbreaker" and this time, she gets to be the QUEEN BEE. I'm also going to mention Jonathan Brandis (The Neverending Story 2) mostly because he's just cool.

* Jonathan Brandis *

Hmmm...

Cinematography was shmeh.

I don't remember the Score at all.

OVERALL: 3/7

This movie is a piece of terrible campy goodness.

but with not-so-much goodness.

The Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy (BBC)

2008-09-17T20:42:00.003-07:00

The Hitch Hikers Guide To The Galaxy (BBC) (1981)
Seen on VHS 12th Sept 2008

Douglas Adams is an ABSOLUTE GENIUS!
The Hitch Hikers book series is undoubtedly one o fthe best things i've EVER read.

STORY: 7/7
Arthur Dent is a regular guy, trying to stop the local council from knocking down his house to build a by-pass. Luckily for him, his best friend Ford Prefect shows up and takes him away before the entire PLANET is destroyed for the creation of an inter-stellar by-pass. Ford, of course, isn't actually from earth, he is from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse.

Lots of stuff happens, you really have to read it / see it.

ACTING: 3/7
The acting on this BBC mini-series is actually quite dissapointing. It's the majority of the original cast of the radio show, but they simply aren't very good on screen.

I'm not exactly sure what else there is to be said.
It's just a totally brilliant story.

OVERALL: 5.5/7

READ THE BOOKS!

you WILL NOT be dissapointed!

How The Grinch Stole Christmas

2008-09-17T20:42:00.002-07:00

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)

Seen on DVD 11th Sept 2008

Fun, Fun, Fun! That's what this is!
I love Doc Seuss, Cause he's the Shiz!

I've been a Dr Seuss fan forever, so seeing the classic stories told through film is pretty great!

STORY: 6/7
The Who's are celebrating Christmas in Whoville, it's gotta be their most favourite time of year. The Grinch however, HATES Christmas, and he wants to destroy it. It all comes down to Cindy-Lou Who to teach the grinch the meaning of christmas.

ACTING: 5.5/7
Jim Carrey is so great at this kind of thing. He's eeeeevil! the whole cast plays this so well, including Taylor Momsen (Paranoid Park) as Cindy-Lou Who. Jeffrey Tambor and Christine Baranski also make WONDERFUL appearances.

* Baranski, Carrey and Tambor *

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 4.5/7
Crazy colours and funny shapes. Bright lights!! Wow wow wow!

SCORE / SOUND: 4/7
your average kids movie score i guess.

SONGS: 6/7
Mr Griiiiinch! There's basically just the one song that i TOTALLY LOVE in this movie.

OVERALL: 4.5/7

Underworld

2008-09-17T20:42:00.001-07:00

Underworld (2003)
Seen on DVD 9th Sept 2008

I bought this DVD for the werewolf content.
I just feel the need to let that be known.

STORY: 4.5/7
Selene is a vampire and a "death dealer." It is her job to hunt and kill the lycans (lycanthrope - werewolf.) The lycans, however, are busy trying to find a "son of the Corvinus clan" hoping to put a disturbing plan in place. Things start to get confusing though, when Selene finds herself attracted to Michael Corvin, the one the Lycans need.

ACTING: 5/7
Kate Beckinsale is quite good as Selene and manages to fire a gun without blinking... which is frickin' HARDCORE! Also, Bill Nighy is in it, and that makes ANY movie great.

CINE / VISUAL EFFETCS: 5/7
This movie looks super cool, nice and dark. Lots of blues and blacks and silvery greys. I'm really not very good at explaining things.

* Kate Beckinsale being hardcore witha gun *

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7
Very Cool - i don't have much else to say.

OVERALL: 5/7

Slither

2008-09-12T20:16:00.000-07:00

Slither (2006)
Seen on DVD 9th Sept 2008

BRENDA'S A WOMB!

STORY: 4/7 - "I'm Bill Pardy"
When a creepy alien slug thing lands in the small town of Wheelsy it "infects" a local man. He then (through local girl, Brenda - literally THROUGH her) sends out an army of brain sucking worms, which turn the town into zombies. It is up to Grant's hot wife Starla and the town sheriff Bill Pardy to save the day.

ACTING: 4/7 - "I'm Bill Pardy"
Nathan Fillion is HILARIOUS as Bill Pardy, heck, he's ALWAYS hilarious! Elizabeth Banks is pretty cool as Starla too, but i think my personal favourite is Jennifer Copping as the local lesbian cop.

* Starla and Bill face up to squiddy Grant *

SCORE / SOUND: 4/7 - "I'm Bill Pardy"
Nothing all that special, but it was pretty cool.

* Brenda's a womb! *

OVERALL: 4/7

I'm Bill Pardy

George Of The Jungle 2

2008-09-12T19:41:00.000-07:00

George Of The Jungle 2 (2003)
Seen on DVD 8th Sept 2008

Watch out for that sequel indeed!

ANGUS T. JONES! Yes, the cute little funny kid from "Two And A Half Men" ! !
And Julie Benz is in it too!

The first movie was self-aware, made jokes at it's own expense and stuff like that... This one, takes it to a whole new level... even to the point of "Me new George. Studio too cheap to pay Brendan Fraser" which makes me smile!!

STORY: 2/7
Unhappy with George and Ursula's happiness, Ursula's mother Beatrice decide's to coax Ursula and Junior back to the city. Then there's Lyle and a hypnotist and a group of angry women and a gambling problem.

ACTING: 4/7
Angus T. Jones! Nuff said?
Christopher Showerman is pretty good at the whole "Me so dumb" gag and he's pretty buff too. (i know that isn't acting, but it's part of the character) Julie Benz (who i love) is actually a little bit annoying at Ursula. Thomas Haden Church is probably the stand out again as Lyle.

OVERALL: 5/7

This movie was FUN!

Dancer In The Dark

2008-09-12T17:44:00.000-07:00

Dancer In The Dark (2000)
Seen on DVD 8th Sept 2008

Written and Directed by:
Lars Von Trier

Why oh why had i never seen this movie before ? ? ?

This movie has EVERYTHING! you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll sing and dance most of all, i think you'll just want to give Bjork a great big hug. This is the third film in Von Trier's series of "Golden Heart" films, in which the female lead character is naive and selfless to the very end.

STORY: 6/7
- "In a musical, nothing dreadful ever happens"
Selma (Bjork) is a Czech immigrant to the USA working in a bedpan factory. Her eyes are quickly failing her and she will soon be blind. She knows that her son will share her fate unless she can get him an operation which she saves every cent she has for. To escape from the reality of her depressing life, Selma imagines herself into musicals.

ACTING: 5.5/7
- "I just wanted to hold a little baby"
For a completely untrained actor, Bjork was FANTASTIC! She was absolutely brilliant. David Morse and Peter Stormare are also worth mention as Selma's landlord Bill and would be boyfriend Jeff, respectively. There is also a cameo by Joel Grey as on old czech movie star.

* Bjork singing *

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 5/7
All of the camera work for this movie is handheld and kinda shaky, which is a totally good thing, because it manages to get the viewer right INTO the action. You don't feel so much like an observer, but you feel like you are actually a part of the conversations taking place. Of course, as we fall into the fantasy world of the musical numbers, the whole film style changes. We have moved out of the dreary real world and into a land full of colour and style.

SCORE / SOUND: 4.5/7
This is really odd, but i gave it 4.5 because there ISN'T any incidental musical. I can't think of any other films with no score. This is, of course, used to be a stark contrast with Selma's imagined musical segments.

SONGS: 6/7
- "I just did what i had to do"
It takes a while before we even hear the first song in this movie, and it was well worth waiting. The first song in the movie "Cvalda" is a nice big celebration of what a musical should be. As the movie goes on, and the fate of the characters becomes more apparent, you can definitely feel it in the music.

I'm gonna add an extra note in here - Bjork did write and perform the musical numbers. It can't be denied that Bjork has a very distinctive sound and style, so it's probably best to have some appreciation of her work to really appreciate this movie's songs.

* Selma listening for music *

OVERALL: 6/7

You simply HAVE TO see this movie!

They say it's the last song.
They don't know us, you see.
It's only the last song if we let it be

* TRAILER *

Interesting Facts -
- Bjork told Lars Von Trier that she hated him on a daily basis
- Bjork went missing during the filming
- Apparently Lars Von Trier isn't happy with the film

Death Race 2000

2008-09-08T01:44:00.000-07:00

Death Race 2000 (1975)
Seen on TV 7th September 2008

OH MY GOODNESS!

Old-school Sylvester Stallone
So this movie was on TV and we decided to watch cause it's stallone and he's so great. My oh my was i ever rewarded by this movie. It was so much fun!!

STORY: 4/7
America has a new national sport: The Death Race! It is basically a great big hit-and-run where each driver gets points for running down members of the public. Frankenstein is the greatest driver around, so a group who want to stop the Death Race send one of their own in to be his navigator.

ACTING: 3/7
Acting isn't really the highpoint of this movie.

* Sylvester Stallone as Machine Gun Joe *

SCORE / SOUND: I DON'T REMEMBER

OVERALL: 5.5/7

* 100 points *

George Of The Jungle

2008-09-08T00:32:00.000-07:00

George Of The Jungle (1997)
Seen on DVD 7th September 2008

I always overlook this movie as a bit of childish supidity, however, when we watched it again the other day (yesterday) I was reminded of just how much fun this movie is. It does do the whole dumb kids movie thing, but then there's the intelligence of a narrator who can actually interact with the movie (done the GOOD way, not like Perfect Opposites) and John Cleese as "Ape."

STORY: 4/7
George has been raised by the animals of the jungle (tarzan anyone?) and has never met another person. Enter Ursula and Lyle. When they are attacked by a lion, Lyle shows himself for the coward that he is and Ursula is rescued by George. They then get to another better and maybe even fall in love. As things go on, Ursula is forced to take George back to the city which leads top some crazy fun.

ACTING: 5/7
It's always a bit hard to judge someone's acting when they're just being really stupid. That being said, i'm gonna say Brendan Fraser did really well as George. Thomas Haden Church was probably my favourite acting though, as Lyle Van De Groot.

* John Cleese as Ape the ape *

SCORE / SOUND: 4/7
who DOESN'T know the song... "George George George of the Jungle..."
most of the score is more of that.

OVERALL: 4.5/7

Make It Happen

2008-09-08T00:20:00.000-07:00

Make It Happen (2008)
Seen At The Movies 7th September 2008

STORY: 3/7
*sigh*
So the girl one wants to be a dancer, so she goes to an audition. SHOCK! she doesn't get in straight away! She ends up getting a job keeping the books at a "burlesque" club. (I put burlesque in inverted commas because there's nothing burlesquey about it, it's just slightly skanky dancing.) Anyway, she ends up getting a chance to dance at the club and has lots of fun. Love interest comes along, then there's a complication... then EVERYTHING is great and she's brilliant. VOMIT... the end.

ACTING: 3.5/7
The acting actually wasn't quite as bad as i expected. Of course, they weren't GOOD at all, but it was passable.

SCORE / SOUND: 4.5/7
The soundtrack is what made this movie watchable. Lots of fun funky songs that had me dancing in my seat. Look out for Lady Gaga's "Just Dance" It had me wetting myself laughing in my seat.

OVERALL: 4/7

EXTRA!

I really want to mention that the conversation i had in the cinema also made this a great excursion to the movies. "Can you tie a snake into a knot with that" and "I'm not really touch you but, you know" where some of the conversational highlights. Oh, and a photo of a hand-dryer from the men's bathrooms of the Carindale cinema.

Rent

2008-09-07T23:40:00.000-07:00

Rent (2005)
Seen on DVD 4th September 2008

Musicals! YAY!

STORY: 5/7
- (I don't own emotion, I rent)
Well... it basically a "funky" 'La Boheme' (the opera by Puccini)
It is a year in the life of a group of friends living in New York City. They have to deal with relationships, break ups, getting jobs, writing songs, drug addictions, HIV/AIDS, death, and paying their rent. It's a really touching story with AWESOME cool music driving it forward.

ACTING: 5/7
- (I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine)
The cast of the movie is made up of a bunch of the actors who took the roles on BROADWAY! Which is a very cool thing because it means they know the character inside out and can portray them on film very well. The stand out for me would probably be Rosario Dawson though, who is brand new to the production. Her 'Mimi' is so confident and loud but when itcomes to the crunch, she is a frail and scared little girl.

Rosario Dawson 'shaking it' as Mimi
at the strip joint: The Cat Scratch Club

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 5.5/7
- (There will always be women in rubber flirting with me)
Very cool looking movie. It looks very sharp and edgy (if that makes any sense.) I'm starting to think that writing about the cinematography of every film is a BAD choice because i don't actually know anything about it.

SCORE / SOUND: ??
I don't know if there is really much score to talk about outside of the songs...

So:

SONGS: 6/7
- (There's only us, There's only this, Forget regret, Or life is your to miss)
If you're anything like me, you won't be able to help but sing along... LOUDLY! All of the songs are either FUN FUN FUN and will makie you wanna dance, or they are GORGEOUS ballads that will tear your heart into pieces.

Idina Menzel as Maureen (Tango Maureen)

Special Appearance!
Stand-up star Sarah Silverman makes a cameo as an executive at "Buzzline."

QUOTE:
How much did I love your footage? So much!
It reminded me of my Berkeley days
Fighting the good fight. Kudos. Kudos.

OVERALL: 6/7

- (Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes)

Prey

2008-09-02T05:37:00.000-07:00

Prey (2007)
Seen on DVD 2nd September 2008

Good old animal horror. Only this was quite lame. Today was a bad day for movies.
That will all be made up for tomorrow when i go see THE DARK KNIGHT again!!
Yes, this movie was unimpressive enough for me to discuss other movies in it's review.

STORY: 3/7
The Newman family are in africa because Tom (the dad) is building a dam there. One day Amy (the new and not-very-well-liked stepmother) Jessica and David go out on a game reserve for some sight seeing. Unfortunately their guide is eaten by a lion leaving them stranded in the jeep unable to go anywhere because they don't have the keys and the lions are right outside.

ACTING: 3/7
I'd love to say the lions did the best acting, but they were pretty crap. They mostly just stood around being totally cute and not at all menacing. I guess the best actor in the group was Carly Schroeder (Mean Creek.)

* Carly Schroeder screaming like a moron *

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 3/7
Lots of in-car filming. Lots of wide sweeping plains.
A few ok looking corpses and stuff.

GORE RATING: 3/7
the people killing was lame... but when they killed the lions it was GROSS and just sad.

* Blood coverred lion just ate your guide *

I is in your car nomming your guide LOL

OVERALL: 3/7

A fail, but at least it was a solid fail.

Skinwalkers

2008-09-02T04:30:00.000-07:00

Skinwalkers (2006)
Seen on DVD 2nd September 2008

I really hoped for more from this.
I love werewolf movies, they're probably my favourite "movie monster" and this movie was just a really big let down. For one, the werewolves wore CLOTHES and stood upright. No, really, that's enough for me to not care at all about this movie.

Especially after just watching Ginger Snaps: Unleashed. I mean come on, werewolf movies are supposed to be SOOO good and they're supposed to be intellectual movies about wanting and yearning and the darkness inside all of us.

Skinwalkers gave none of that.

* Crappy wolf - notice the pants and bra *

If you don't mind, i'm gonna skip the part by part review.

Rhona Mitra was pretty good as Rachel and the small boy was pretty cool i guess.

OVERALL: 1.5/7

The Mangler

2008-09-02T04:20:00.000-07:00

The Mangler (1995)
Seen on DVD 1st September 2008

A Story by Stephen King
Directed by Tobe Hooper
Starring Robert Englund
and it only cost $6.98 ! !

STORY: 2.5/7
Evil is transferred into an ironing machine that needs the blood of virgins.

ACTING: 3/7
Robert Englund is evil (no brainer.) Ted Levine is a cop, with a friend who is obsessed with the paranormal. It's pretty crap really.

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 4/7
Some nice corpse effects.

SCORE / SOUND: 2/7
shmeh-tastic.

SONGS: N/A

GORE RATING: 4/7
smooshed up corpsey women.

OVERALL: 2.5/7

Not that bad for $6.98 but not that good.

End Of Evangelion

2008-09-01T20:53:00.000-07:00

Neon Genesis EVANGELION: End Of Evangelion (1997)
AKA - Shin seiki Evangelion Gekijô-ban
Seen on DVD 1st September 2008

This is the ENGLISH DUB that i'm reviewing.

Neon Genesis Evangelion is arguably the greatest anime ever created! It is by far my favourite anime and is one of my favourites television shows. Visually brilliant and a bit of a headfuck.

It would be advised that you really have to watch the entire television series for this movie to make any sense or at least watch the "death" segment from "Evangelion: Death and Rebirth" (1997) which attempts to recap the entire series in one sitting.

STORY: 7/7
- (The fate of destruction is also the joy of rebirith)
The "End Of Eva" is a retelling of what happened in episodes 25 and 26 of the original television series. All of the angels have been destroyed but NERV remains on level one alert. SEELE has been using NERV and the EVAs to destroy the angels so that they could go about uninterrupted in creating the Third Impact for their "Human Instrumentality Project." The army is sent in to overthrow NERV and take the EVAs by force but hoping to start Third Impact for his own reasons and on his own terms, Gendo Ikari puts up a fight.

After Asuka gives it her best (and OH MY is it ever her best, you will be VERY pleased) Shinji is forced back into Unit-01 where he will go on to face his fears, himself, the end of the world, a giant squishy Rei and a completed series of production model Evangelions.

* HARDCORE ASUKA *

ACTING: 6.5/7
- (So fucking what if I'm not you! That doesn't mean it's okay for you to give up!)
It's hard to judge the acting skills on an animated movie... but this one is TOTALLY brilliant. From Shinji's repeated "i mustn't run away, i mustn't run away" to Asukas final battle, and Misato giving Shinji the speech we've ALL wanted to give him since the start. Every word spoken in this movie draws me in further and further.

* KAWORU the 5th Child / 17th Angel *

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 6.5/7
- (The door to both the beginning and the end of the world is open at last)
It starts out looking like most of your animes. Anime people in anime rooms. Then it starts to get fun. Livefootage is cut in, words on screen, subliminal-style flashing images and words. I swear, it's like a whole new world when you watch this movie frame by frame!! There is also the spectacle of a Third-Impact-Rei-Lillith the size of a planet.

* Really big Rei *

SCORE / SOUND: 6/7
- (I wish that I could turn back time, cause now the guilt is all mine)
Lots of big orchestral classics are used and, face it, you need BIG music to compete with the insane imagery of Evangelion. There is also "Komm Susser Tod - Come Sweet Death." A great pop song with really uplifting sounding music, but deep and depressing lyrics.

SONGS: N/A

GORE RATING: 5.5/7
- (I'll-kill-you-I'll-kill-you-I'll-kill-you-I'll--)
This is a scarily gorey animation. Eyes are turn out, maggot covered corpses flash on screen, people are shot and stabbed and literally torn apart. The sky is actually soaked with blood.

OVERALL: 7/7

- Nobody wants me, so they can all just die.
Then what is your hand for?
- Nobody cares whether I live or die.
- Nothing will change... so they can all just die...
Then what is your heart for?

Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed

2008-09-01T07:43:00.001-07:00

Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004)
Seen on DVD 31st August 2008

I absolutely love "Ginger Snaps" but unfortunately the sequels aren't available anywhere that i can find, so this copy of Ginger Snaps 2 is borrowed from Leilah! (snaps for Leilah)

* This IS a sequel so I'm going to SPOIL the first one for you if you haven't seen it.

STORY: 6/7
- (We can't fight what's in us, B)
So Brigitte has infected herself and Ginger is dead. Most stories probably wouldn't look into what happens next and that's why this is GREAT! B is dosing on monkshood on a daily basis. She is forced to shave her entire body and time how long it takes for a wound to heal. If all of this isn't bad enough, she has become aware that another werewolf is tracking her, with the intention of mating. When she overdoses on the monkshood she finds herself incarcerated in a rehabilitation clinic where she will no longer be able to run.

ACTING: 6/7
- (You're starting to understand, aren't you? How it all starts with wanting?)
Emily Perkins is unbearably good reprising her role as B. The first time around she got to play it naive and scared but this time around she is a LOT darker, always a step ahead and just a little bit sinister. Tatiana Maslany is mentionable as "ghost." A very dark, mysterious and annoying little girl.

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 4.5/7
It's all about the werewolf really. He's big and hairy with teeth!
B also grows her own impressive set teeth.

* The male wolf finds Brigitte *

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7
Pretty Cool.

SONGS: N/A

GORE RATING: 4.5/7

* TRAILER *

OVERALL: 5.5/7

Versus

2008-09-01T07:24:00.000-07:00

Versus (2000)
Seen on DVD 30th August 2008

STORY: 4/7
So these guys escape from prison and then they meet up with some gangsters. After stuff goes a bit crazy with the gangsters it becomes obvious that anyone who dies in the forest comes back as a zombie. One of the prisoners runs off into the forest with a girl who the gang had been holding prisoner. Destiny comes into play... the past... the future... craziness i tells ya!

ACTING: 4/7
Tak Sakaguchi (pictured) did quite well as Prisoner KSC2-303 (yes, that's the actual character name.) I also think it's worth mentioning the Tak might be the best looking Japanese man ever. I think the stand out acting would be Chieko Misaka as "the girl."

* Tak Sakaguchi *

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 4/7
Pretty shmeh. Some cool scenes in the forest.

SCORE / SOUND: ?
I don't remember the score at all

SONGS: N/A

GORE RATING: 5/7
Some guys get cut in half. A guys cheek gets ripped off
Lots of BIG guns... AND swords... all at once

OVERALL: 5/7

Chicago

2008-09-01T06:53:00.001-07:00

Chicago (2002)
Seen on DVD 30th August

This movie is my record holder for times seen at the movies.
THIRTEEN TIMES!

It is sooooo good, i still can't hold back from singing along and laughing at every joke.

STORY: 4/7 - (You're, THE Velma Kelly. I was there the night you got arrested)
Roxie Hart (Renee Zellweger) is a bored and unhappy housewife who dreams of a life on the stage, not unlike Velma Kelly (Catherine Zeta-Jones.) When Fred Casely lies about being able to get Roxie a job, she shoots him. This lands her in jail, and also in the limelight. It might not be the fame she wants, but she'll take all she can get. Oh, and there's LOTS OF SINGING!!

ACTING: 5/7 - (Don't you wanna take my picture?)

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 5/7 - (Give 'em the old razzle dazzle)
This movie does a really good job of separating the boring real world and the wonderful world of Roxie's musical fantasies. When things are 'real' they are very dull and straightforward... but when it's wonderful, it's crazy wonderful! Lights and Costumes and Colour Colour Colour!

SCORE / SOUND: 6/7
All of the original score for this movie (not from the stageshow) was written by Danny Elfman who i totally love! It's nice and jazzy... totally fits in with the rest of the music.

SONGS: 6/7 - (C'mon babe, why don't we paint the town / and all that jazz)
Brilliant brilliant brilliant! The songs are fun and jazzy and just make you wanna sing and dance. Also, Catherine Zeta-Jones is FAR too talented for her own good. Someone should cut one of her arms off or something.

OVERALL: 6.5

Interesting facts -
- Zellweger had no song or dance training
- Chita Rivera makes a guest appearance (oh my god!!)
- Richard Gere did all his own tapdancing

Conversation(s) with other Women

2008-09-01T00:06:00.000-07:00

Conversation(s) with other Women (2005)
Seen on DVD 29th August 2008

Helena Bonham Carter + Aaron Eckhart = LOVE!
This movie is just mind-blowingly awe-inspiringly brilliant!

I loved it!

STORY: 6/7
The Man and The Woman (they don't have names) meet at a wedding. It is the man's sister's wedding, and the woman is an emergency replacement bridesmaid (must make you feel loved.) They get talking, and start a bit of an affair going. While they chat they both reminisce on their pasts and find that they have some things in common.

ACTING: 6/7
Helena Bonham Carter and Aaron Eckhart (as if that isn't enough already) play off of each other brilliantly. Helena seems effortless in her character and Eckhart is definitely carrying years on his shoulders, his character is full of a playful self loathing.

* Aaron Eckhart and Helena Bonham Carter *

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 6/7
Split screening! Nothing can possibly show the distance between two characters like seperating them completely, even when they're right next to each other.

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7
Lovely little soundtrack full of cute and sad songs.

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 6/7

Interesting facts -
- Helena wore her own shoes
- Aaron wore his own suit

- the sex scene was filmed completely in 45 minutes

Sheitan

2008-08-31T23:42:00.000-07:00

Sheitan (2006)
AKA - Satan
Seen on DVD 25th August 2008

BRILLIANT French horror film with Vincent Cassel (Irreversible.)

STORY: 4.5/7
A group of teenagers want to go out and have some fun over the holidays. They decide to go back to Eve's house in the country of france. When they get there her housekeeper, Joseph, seems a little bit sus from the start. Little do they know what is planned for that night.

ACTING: 5/7
Vincent Cassel is a frickin' genius! He plays Joseph so believably that you almost forget it's even Cassel. However, my personal stand out is Julie-Marie Parmentier who plays "Jeanne" Joseph's insane niece. She is absolutely TERRORFYING!

* Julie-Marie Parmentier *

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 5.5/7
The French and the Italians seem to be the best at horror movies. They are always much darker and ominous, even from the beginning. I wish more movies would look and feel like this one.

SCORE / SOUND: 4/7
Cool and scary score but also utilises an odd soundtrack. Lots of french rap and rock.

SONGS: N/A

GORE RATING: 5.5/7
Not a constant flow of gore, but when it comes, it's nice and impressive. There's a fist full of hair (scalp included) and a nice little knife, made for one purpose alone.

Monica Belluci (quick cameo)
and Vincent Cassel (married)

OVERALL: 6/7

Battle Royale

2008-08-31T23:27:00.000-07:00

Battle Royale (2000)
AKA - Batoru Rowaiaru
Seen on DVD 25th August 2008

BRILLIANT IDEA!

STORY: 6.5/7
Japan is overpopulated and the youth of the country are all hooligans. To stop the downfall of the country one-at-a-time a year nine class is selected and put onto an abandoned island. They are told that they must kill each other. The last one alive is the winner, if more than one person is alive after three days, they ALL DIE!

ACTING: 5/7
So good! these kids totally lose their minds!

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 4.5/7
Dark, fast, frantic.

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7
Big classical songs were used. The sheer giganticness (is that a word) of the music is brilliant!

SONGS: N/A

GORE RATING: 6/7

* Chiaki Kuriyama *

OVERALL: 6/7

Interesting Facts -
- This is where Tarantino found Chiaki Kuriyama for her role as Gogo in "Kill Bill"

Perfect Opposites

2008-08-31T23:13:00.000-07:00

Perfect Opposites (2004)
Seen on DVD 24th August 2008

A Rom-Com. *Blergh*
but it has Jennifer Tilly in it!!

STORY: 3/7
Boy meets girl... boy marries girl... boy and girl grow apart... can they EVER get back together?
Oh, and JENNIFER TILLY lives next door to them!!
(Yes, she is the most important part of this.)

ACTING: 3/7
Little to none.

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 2/7
I guess it was cool that they've added interesting techniques to a rom-com but i just found it annoying. Boy (yes, i just call him boy cause i don't know / care about his name) is showing us this movie... and because he knows it'sa movie, he can rewind it and fast forward it, to show us bits he likes or doesn't like. His commentary / narrating was just ANNOYING.

SCORE / SOUND: ?
I really don't remember. Which can't mean good things.

SONGS: N/A

*couldn't find a pic of till from the movie...
so this should do nicely.

OVERALL: 4/7

(3.5 of that is Tilly)

The Truman Show

2008-08-31T22:52:00.000-07:00

The Truman Show (1998)
Seen on DVD 22nd August

STORY: 5.5/7
Truman was the first baby ever to be officially adopted by a company. He is also the star of his own television show, the thing is, he doesn't know about it. So many people think of this as just another stupid comedy movie with Jim Carrrey. The thing is... i think it's so much more, it's a social commentary about letting people run our lives,and losing control.

ACTING: 6/7
BRILLIANT! Jim Carrey manages to be so intense, while still carrying his "funnyman" act and Laura Linney is breath taking as Truman's "wife" Meryl.

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 5/7
When watching a movie, i sometimes find myself saying... "where exactly is that camera supposed to be? what kind of persprective is that?" ...and well, The Truman Show managed to fix that problem.

SCORE / SOUND: 4/7
Cool, but nothing all that special.

SONGS: N/A

* Meryl (Linney) and Truman (Carrey) *

OVERALL: 6/7

Baby Mama

2008-08-21T02:59:00.001-07:00

Baby Mama (2008)
Seen At The Movies 21st August 2008

FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY Movie!!
I freakin' love Krindy!

(Krindy being Amy Poehler)

(It's an Arrested Development thing)

STORY: 5/7 - (Can I just spray a little PAM down there right before the baby comes out?)
Kate (Tina Fey) can't have children of her own, and decides that a surrogate mother would be the best way to have a child. Enter Angie (Amy Poehler) a "white trash" girl who wants a quick dollar.

ACTING: 4.5/7 - (It costs more to have someone born than to have someone killed!)
None of the characters are that deep, but everyone does a VERY good job at being who they are. Tina Fey plays that same vaguely anal, too-smart-to-be-that-hot Businessy type (30 Rock and Mean Girls) and Amy Poehler is a PLEASURE to watch as per usual.

* Amy Poehler as Angie *

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 3.5/7 - (Is that what you're wearing?)
Pretty cool looking.

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7 - (Stop framing your face! / I think it's good / it's not)
quite a cool score, fun and stuff. It wasn't all that memorable, but it was still good.

SONGS: N/A

* Tina Fey *

OVERALL: 6/7

" It feels like I'm shitting a knife! "

*Will Arnett and Amy Poehler*

(Gob and Krindy)

Psycho Beach Party

2008-08-18T19:44:00.000-07:00

Psycho Beach Party (2000)
Seen on DVD 18th August 2008

ANN BOWMAN LIVES!!!

This movie was SOOOOO much better than i expected. I expected cheesy lame crap and what i got was... well, it WAS cheesy and lame, but also VERY camp and fun! and i'd also say very well put together.

STORY: 4.5/7 - (I've never been to an orgy before. What do I wear?)
So Florence (Lauren Ambrose) is a young girl who really wants to fit in and be cool. She's really a bit of a dork and no-one pays any attention to her. Unless of course, she falls into her alter ego Ann Bowman! Then it's a bit hard NOT to notice her. Oh, and there's some murders and things.

ACTING: 5.5/7 - (I'm no mere chick! I'm a goddess!)
So Lauren Ambrose first grabbed my attention (quite recently) in her role as Claire on "Six Feet Under" and when i realised it was her in Psycho Beach Party i was like... "holy crap! can we get that now?" and i was NOT dissapointed. Other people were good but it was ALL about Ambrose.

*Lauren Ambrose*

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 4/7
They totally pulled off the old timey feel of the movie. If i didn't KNOW it was from 2000, i would almost have beleived it was the 50's or whatever. (is that even a cinematographical thing?) (is cinematographical a word?)

SCORE / SOUND: 3/7 - (They look like beatniks, should I unpack my bongos?)
The score was a bit of a let down for me. Not memorable or entertaining at all really. IMHO

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 6/7

The whole is FAR more entertaining than the sum of it's parts!

*Another Lauren Ambrose just cause it's cool*

The Devil Wears Prada

2008-08-18T17:40:00.000-07:00

The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Seen on DVD 17th August 2008

STORY: 4/7
Andy wants to work in journalism, but can't break into the business in New York. She ends up landing herself an assistant job in one of the most prestigious fashion magazines in the country. Having been told that after a year at "Runway" she could get any job she wanted, she decides to stick it out. Unfortunately her boss Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep) is a tyrant.

ACTING: 4/7
Meryl is brilliant, but that's a given. My personal favourite in the movie would have to be Emily Blunt. She's so funny, but so serious at the same time.

*Emily Blunt*

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 3.5/7
Nothing special really. There's some ok montages of Paris, but nothing that hasn't been done before.

SCORE / SOUND: 3/7
The soundtrack is full of great songs, but i feel that they take away from the movie a bit. When Madonna's "Vogue" comes in, it's hard to think anything but "hey this is vogue, look at that footage that they set to vogue."

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 4/7

"I don't eat anything and when I feel like I'm about to faint I eat a cube of cheese"

Juno

2008-08-18T17:07:00.001-07:00

Juno (2007)
Seen on DVD 14th August 2008

In the special edition orange tic-tac box!
*pictured below*

Writer: Diablo Cody
Dir: Jason Reitman

This movie was totally the unnexpected break-out hit of the year. Juno and "Death at a Funeral" were the indie-flicks that refused to stay down.

STORY: 5.5/7 - (It started with a chair)
So Juno (Ellen Page) is a 16 year old girl... and she's pregnant! That's pretty much the story!
She decides that she is incapable of raising the baby herself, so she finds a family who can't have children (Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner) and sets up an adoption plan.

ACTING: 6/7 - (I still have your underwear / I still have your virginity)
Ellen Page is frickin' amazing in everything she's in! I have to take a moment to TOTALLY recommend "Hard Candy" (2005) which might possibly be her at her best!! Michael Cera is pretty much just "George Michael" in everything (Arrested Development?) and i'm completely OK with that. Oh, and Allison Janney rocks my socks off.

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 5.5/7 - ("Blah I am a Kracken from the sea!")
SOO SOO COOL! The title sequence already had me pants-wettingly excited at the movies. It's just so... ummm... fresh looking. It's sharp and neat but still edgy and cool. If that makes any sense. (I'm not very good at this)

SCORE / SOUND: 7/7 - (I bought another Sonic Youth album and it sucked... it's just noise)
The soundtrack for this movie is fan-fucking-tastic! I can listen to it all day long on repeat and sing along at full volume the whole time!! and it's hard to even pick a standout track cause it's all pure quality!

SONGS: 4/7 - (We sure are cute for two ugly people)
There's only one "song" in the movie really... and it's Juno and Bleeker singing a song from the soundtrack... but it's just such a good song!

*Special Tic-Tac Packaging*

OVERALL: 6.5/7

(I don't want to give my baby to a couple who describes themselves as "wholesome." I was looking for, maybe, a thirty-something graphic designer with a cool Asian girlfriend who kicks ass on the bass guitar, but I don't know, I don't wanna get too particular.)

Interesting Facts -
- The hamburger phone actually Belongs to Diablo Cody (the writer)
- Micheal Cera never ate a tic-tac on screen
- "Most Fruitful Yuki" doesn't exist

Lars and the Real Girl

2008-08-11T19:53:00.001-07:00

Lars and the Real Girl (2007)
Seen on DVD 12th August 2008

FUCKING BRILLIANT!!
Every now and then a movie comes along that just completely blows away what "movies should be."

It's also by the writer of "Six Feet Under" which i love. So that's a plus!!

STORY: 6/7 - (She is real)
Lars (Ryan Gosling) is a very lonely and sheltered guy. Both of his parents are dead and he has never been capable of forming bonds with other people. Just the thought of even touching another person scares him. All this changes when he "meets" Bianca. An anatomically correct life-sized doll which Lars orderred online. He doesn't use her for sex, but rather believes her to be a "real person" who he forms a loving relationship with. His family, worried about his condition, seek the advice of a therapist who tells them it would be best to just "go along with it" and that Lars would stop believing it when he no longer needed her.

It seems a little bit odd, but it's truly a BRILLIANT story. After a while, as a viewer, even i saw the life in Bianca, as someone who Lars can connect with on his own terms.

Meanwhile, at work, Margo (Kelli Garner) is only liking Lars more and more as she gets to know him better, through her own interaction with Bianca.

ACTING: 6/7 - (Sometimes I get so lonely I forget what day it is, and how to spell my name)
Superb acting. Ryan Gosling made some brilliant choices and is simply a pleasure to watch. However, i think the stand out for me was Kelli Garner. I knew her from "Thumbsucker" (not that she's easy to recognise with her blonde hair) and she is just getting BETTER. She managed to be sweet and naive and also very deep and mature at the same time. Special Mention to Emily Mortimer also.

*Kelli Garner as Margo*

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 5.5/7 - (it's just a thaw - winter isn't over till Easter)
This movie looks really soft, if that makes any sense. Lovely and slow moving, gorgeous to watch.

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7 - (L is for the way you look at me...)
Really really nice soundtrack by David Torn

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 6/7

WONDERFUL!

I recommend that you see this!!

*Bianca and Lars*

Interesting facts -
- To make her seem "realer" Bianca actually had a trailer on the set.
- Bianca had 9 different faces
- the whole movie was shot in 31 days

Jason X

2008-08-11T00:47:00.001-07:00

Jason X (2001)
Seen on DVD 11th August 2008

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... *sigh*

Basically, this movie is a JOKE!

STORY: 2/7 - (ha ha ha ha)
Jason Vorhees has been captured and put to death (unsuccessfully) many times. Some random people have decided that it would be best to just cryogenically freeze Jason and keep him that way forever. Unfortunately, in the year 2455 he is un-frozen on a space ship and goes back to his old habits.

ACTING: 1.5/7 - (ha ha ha ha)
There isn't much.

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 4/7 - (hmmm...)
The Nano-Bots or "ants" as they call them are pretty cool, and Jason is nice and shiny once he gets his "update."

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7
i gave it 5 purely because it includes...

[whisper] Ch ch ch - Ha ha ha - Ch ch ch - Ha ha ha [/whisper]

SONGS: N/A

GORE RATING: 4/7
A face get's frozen and then smashed off. That is pretty frickin awesome.
Jason also gets MAJORLY destroyed a few times. (I love how you can kill him lots of times.)

OVERALL: 3/7 - (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha)

Interesting trivia -
- Jason never blinks
- The BFG is mentioned (DOOM the game)
- Kill count: 28

Deal

2008-08-11T00:21:00.000-07:00

Deal (2008)
Seen on DVD 10th August 2008

Jennifer Tilly!!!

The saddest thing ever is seeing a movie cause it has someone you love (Jennifer Tilly) in it, and then they're in it for a total of about 2 minutes.

The cool thing though, is when a movie that looks kind of gay turns out to be kind of cool.

STORY: 4/7
Alex has just graduated college and plays a bit of poker for fun, getting into a few tournaments here and there. Tommy used to be a pro-poker-player and is now retired, under the instruction of his wife. When Tommy sees Alex play he realises that he can live out his "glory days" by training this newcomer to win at the world series of poker (or whatever it is.)

ACTING: 5/7
I was actually quite satisfied by the acting after i got over the shock of... "Hahaha, look, it's Burt Reynolds... What's he doing? He's just Burt Reynolds."

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 2/7
Why do all poker movies have to look so choppy and sharp. and the weird angles that you look at the cards from are just annoying. And of course the "Welcome to Vegas" montage of neon lights gets very old very quick.

SCORE / SOUND: ??
I don't remember, which means it can't have been that good.

SONGS: N/A

* Jennifer Tilly *

OVERALL: 5/7

There should have been more Tilly. She makes everything more entertaining.
Or more Chaniqua. She was cool.

Interesting facts -
- Jennifer actually plays poker!
- They used the actual set of the world poker tour.
- Bret Harrison (Alex) associate produced "Zombie Honeymoon" (2004)
- I LOVE "Zombie Honeymoon"

Watching The Detectives

2008-08-10T23:53:00.000-07:00

Watching The Detectives (2007)
Seen on DVD 10th August 2008

Video Stores were the theme of the viewing that night.

STORY: 6/7
Cillian Murphy plays Neil, a mild mannered movie nerd. He owns his own video store and lives out his life through old movies. That is until the day that he meets Violet (Lucy Liu.) She doesn't watch TV or movies because she prefers to live out her own adventures. As they get to know each other Violet turns Neil's life upside down and gets him into quite a bit of trouble.

ACTING: 5/7
Cillian Murphy is great in EVERYTHING that he does. Luct Liu is quite good in her role too. Fun and bubbly and yet very dark at the same time.

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 3.5/7
It's a kind of generic looking movie however the opening sequence was quite nice

SCORE / SOUND: 4/7
Fun, cool... not something that you'll really walk away humming but still quite nice.

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 5.5/7

Interesting Facts -
- Neil mentions that "The City of Lost Children" is by the same director as "Delicatessen"
- That director is Jean-Pierre Jeunet and i have BOTH of those movies.
- Owning a video store would be BRILLIANT!

Be Kind Rewind

2008-08-10T23:28:00.000-07:00

Be Kind Rewind (2008)
Seen on DVD 10th August 2008

Dir: Michel Gondry
Written by: Michel Gondry

I love Michel Gondry
He is so distinct and funny

So... ummm... i'll just get to it.

STORY: 6/7 - (I'm Bill Murray, you're everybody else)
Original story... HECK YES! So Mike (mos Def) is left in charge of Mr Fletcher's video store while he's away. Jerry (Jack Black) isn't supposed to be allowed in the store, and there is a good reason for it. After becoming magnetised in a sabotage-gone-wrong Jerry deletes every video in the store. (Yes, they're still using VHS.) Hoping not to let Mr Fletcher find out the boys re-film all of the movies themselves.

ACTING: 4.5/7 - (I need you to say "I will piss on the bones of your ancestors")
Jack Black and Mos Def spend 90% of the time doing what made them famous. Def is a mouthful of randomness and Black dances around making funny noises. I was however a little shicked to see them both take a really nice dramatic turn at the emotional peak of the movie. Mia Farrow also makes a noticable input as Miss Falewicz.

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 4/7 - (I will shoot you. And I know robot karate!)
Basically, there weren't any big special effects but i still gave out a 4 because of the effects Jerry and Mike made themselves. A burning marshmallow man and tinsel on a fishing rod. Pure genius.

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7 - (your feet's too big)
Cool soundtrack made up of a kooky almost mis-matched score and some cool old-school jazzy tunes.

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 5.5/7

(We did it...because we're Ghostbusters!)

Really entertaining and just heaps of fun!!

Interesting Facts -
- Jack Black was in "King Kong" (2005) and they "swede" King Kong
- Sigourney Weaver was in "Ghostbusters" which they swede and appears in this movie
- Michel Gondry "sweded" the trailer for this film.

The Dark Knight

2008-08-10T17:06:00.000-07:00

I'm not gonna review it again...
but i'm gonna do this...

Starship Troopers 3: Marauder

2008-08-10T16:39:00.000-07:00

Starship Troopers 3: Marauder (2008)
Seen on DVD 7th August 2008

Oh yes!
Heck heck yes indeed!

STARSHIP TROOPERS THREE!

And... not only do we own starship troopers 3 on DVD but it's the special edition.
The version which is actually (digitally) signed by Casper Van Dien in character as Johnny Rico!

For those who can't read that, it says:

"Are you ready to do your part?"
Casper Van Dien
Johnny Rico

so anyway... onto the movie.

STORY: 5/7 - (Are you ready for Marauder? Join the Mobile Infantry and see if you have what it takes to be a citizen)
So it's been a few years since the first movie. We've been learning from the brain bug we captured on planet P. The war hasn't moved that far forward, but RICO HAS! he's totally all important in the army now. So we basically think we've got this bug thing all done and dusted now. We understand them, but what would happen if we learned that maybe the bugs GAVE us a victory and had a bigger plan?

ACTING: 4/7 - (Get in there and kill 'em all!)
Basically it's all you'd expect from another starship troopers. No brilliant acting, but still heaps of fun.

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 3.5/7
Quite dissapointing actually. I don't understand how technology can get better, but the CG elements can look worse?? The bugs weren't beleivable.

SCORE / SOUND: 4/7
It was ok. Nothing that cool

SONGS: 6/7 - (it's a good day to die!)
Lord almighty is there a song in this movie!!! It is absolutely amazing!!
So basically it's a piece of crap, but the pure hilarity makes this a strong 6.

OVERALL: 5.5/7

JOHNNY RICO!!!

Interesting Facts -
- Johnny Rico is HARDCORE!
- (i've got nothing here)

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

2008-08-08T18:55:00.000-07:00

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
Seen on DVD 6th August 2008

This is probably the kevin smith movie that embraces the entire View Askewniverse the most. It cameos characters from all the other movies. Sometimes actors are playing more than just one character.

STORY: 4/7 - (Miramax? I thought they only did classy pictures, like "The Piano")
Mother mother fuck, mother mother fuck fuck, mother fuck, mother fuck, noise noise noise. So they're making a movie of "Bluntman and Chronic" the comic Banky and Holden made based on them. When Jay and Silent Bob find out people are dissing them on the internet they decide the only way to stop it is to stop the movie being made. and then... well... stuff happens.

ACTING: 3/7 - (my ex-girlfriend-who-was-killed-by-a-car-explosion's monkey)
What can be said. Ben Affleck plays himself.

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 4/7
There were some cool explosions and Silent Bob used the force.

SCORE / SOUND: 3.5/7
I don't remember any score but there were lots of "comical" sound effects

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 6/7 - (more than the sum of it's parts)

It's honestly a pretty terrible movie, but it's SOOOO entertaining.

Interesting facts -
- I'm not even gonna try to mention all the movie refferences
- The word "fuck" is said 228 times
- Carrie Fisher and Mark Hammil hadn't worked together since Star Wars
- The house from "Leave it to Beaver" is on the movie

The Compant Of Wolves

2008-08-08T18:22:00.000-07:00

The Company Of Wolves (1984)
Seen on DVD 6th August 2008

1. Never stray from the path
2. Never eat a windfall apple &
3. Never trust a man whose eyebrows meet

So i had been looking for this movie EVERYWHERE after seeing it in a club one night on a little T.V. on mute. It took a lot of research to track it down and when i finally knew what it was and asked about it, I was told it was no longer available in the country. Guess what... I FOUND IT!

It's an amazing movie. An amalgamation of the classic Little Red Riding Hood story, and a nice dark warewolf movie. I want to finish another sentence with the word movie.

STORY: 6/7 - (I don't come from Hell, I come from the forest)
Rosaleen is a young girl whose granny has told her MANY stories about the creatures of the forest. She explains that while there are wolves who are hairy on the outside, the ones that are hairy on the inside are the most dangerous. After the telling of many different warewolf "fairy tales" one of them starts to take place.

ACTING: 5.5/7 - (They say seeing is believing, but I'd never swear to it)
Sarah Patterson is quite amazing in this movie. She could almost be a tiny little Helena Bonham Carter. Of course... there's also the wonderful Angela Landsbury! How can you say no?

*Sarah Patterson and Angela Landsbury*

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 4.5/7 - (it seemed like a good idea at the time)
Yes, that was a hannibal refference. Of course, that's where my mind goes any time that someone TEARS THEIR OWN FACE OFF! Heck yes there's some face-tearing. Also, as you can see on the DVD cover, the wolves burst out of their human bodies. TOTALLY SWEET!

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7
Eerie, haunting, beautiful.

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 6/7

(They say the Prince of Darkness is a gentleman. And as it turns out, they're right; a fine gentleman)

It's not that it's the most brilliantly made movie ever, it's just that it's absolutely brilliant to watch. It's gorgeous and memorable and simply brilliant.

*Rosaleen and the hunter*

Interesting facts -
- Based on a short story by Angela Carter
- Angela Carter wrote the screen play
- Terrence Stamp cameo's as satan

The Waterhorse: Legend of the Deep

2008-08-08T18:06:00.001-07:00

The Waterhorse: Legend of the Deep (2007)
Seen on DVD (i don't exactly remember when)

accents are fun!

STORY: 4/7 - (hey, let's take that big gross thing home from the beach)
Pretty cool story. The whole "hey look, it's Nessie!" thing is pretty childish really and the whole "it's the war, kill the germans" is a bit boring. Together, however, they balance out nicely into a cool story!

ACTING: 5.5/7
Alex Etel is AMAZING! i fell in love with him in the movie "Millions" and of course Emily Watson who is yet to put a foot wrong in my mind.

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 6/7
Well, umm, there IS a giant sea monster in the movie.

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7
Pretty cool. uplifting, fun all that shiz

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 5/7

Interesting Facts -
- The "waterhorse" in mythology is an evil creature that kills you.

The Jane Austen Book Club

2008-08-04T03:44:00.001-07:00

The Jane Austen Book Club (2007)
Seen on DVD 3rd August 2008

I think this movie goes further than your regular Rom/Com. For one, i liked it, and didn't predict the ending 3 minutes into the movie.

STORY: 4.5/7 - (All Jane Austen, all the time. It's the perfect antidote)
When Sylvia and Prudie have marital troubles, Bernadette decides that they should get together with a group of friends for a book club. They decide it needs to be books that they have all read before and eventually decide on... JANE AUSTEN! YAY! Then of course, as they read, they find some similarities between their own lives and those of Austen's characters.

ACTING: 4/7 - (High school's never over)
I was actually quite pleasantly surprised by this movie. I went in expecting a bit of trash and came out quite touched. Amy Brenneman is AMAZING and Emily Blunt, while so hateable at first, grows into a very complex and deep character as she let's herself unfold on screen.

CINE / VISUAL EFFECTS: 4/7
Pretty much all you'd expect from a rom/com. No huge amazing cinematographical tricks, but quite nice looking.

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7 - (hums along)
I don't remember the score much, but the soundtrack was quite nice. I caught myself singing along to some songs by Aimee Mann and Snow Patrol.

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 4.5/7

Interesting Facts -
- Everyone actually read (at least) the book that they hosted.

Sleuth

2008-08-04T03:18:00.001-07:00

Sleuth (2007)
Seen on DVD 1st August 2008

A remake of Sleuth (1972)

In that original 1972 version... Michael Caine played the role that Jude Law is playing in this version! Not to mention Jude Law just re-making Caine movies all over the place. Alfie anyone?

So...

STORY: 6/7 - (I understand you're fucking my wife)
It's amazing just how good a story can be with only 2 characters and very few umm... things that happen? I mean things happen and it's AWESOME... but THINGS don't happen.

You have to see it.

ACTING: 5.5/7 - (Maggie never told me you were... such a manipulator)
Man oh man! so i have always liked both Jude Law and Michael Caine, but it wasn't until this movie that i think i REALLY respected either of them. They are both BRILLIANT!

CINEMATOGRAPHY / VISUAL EFFECTS: 6/7 - (cameras!)
This movie looks awesome! It opens being filmed from a camera above Michael Caine's door. You cannot see faces and there is very little action, but it is absolutely brilliant to watch. The filming decisions, i beleive, force you to really pay attention to the dialogue! Also... without wanting to give anything away... AMAZING MAKEUP!

SCORE / SOUND: 4/7 - (haven't i heard that before?)
The score for this movie was really good! The thing is, i spent the whole time just singing the theme music from the movie "IRREVERSIBLE"

SONGS: N/A

*Jude Law being all blonde and scary*

OVERALL: 6/7

Interesting Facts -
- This film was shot in complete in the right order
- Playwright Harold Pinter wrote the screenplay
- Harold Pinter does a cameo on a television.

The Spiderwick Chronicles

2008-07-31T17:47:00.000-07:00

The Spiderwick Chronicles (2008)
Seen on DVD 31th July 2008

JOAN PLOWRIGHT IS IN THIS MOVIE!
Nobody ever told me that she'd be in it!
I love Joan Plowright.

A fun kids movie... magic and fantasy... adventure!
and of course... TWO Freddie Highmores!

STORY: 4.5/7 - (You don't see us, now you do, but only if we want you to)
So basically Jared and his family have just moved out to the middle of nowhere from New York. Their parents have have just split up and the kids aren't very happy: Jared in particular has been getting into lots of trouble. The trouble is only going to get worse after Jared reads Arthur Spiderwick's Field Guide though. It explains all the secrets of the supernatural world and now that he's read it, the not-so-nice-guys want him, AND the book.

ACTING: 5.5/7 - (If they say 'suicide' and you say 'goblins', this place is where they put you)
So much more than i expected from this movie. Firstly, there is the matter of Freddie Highmore's american accent. he can pull it off... but it anoys me! The thing is... he does it TWICE! Cause he plays his own twin! Mary Louise Parker does a pretty great job as the mum and of course Joan Plowright. She can't do wrong.

*Freddie Highmores*

CINEMATOGRAPHY / VISUAL EFFECTS: 5/7 - (Did I hit someone? - Yes, thankyou!)
The movie looked pretty cool, the CG goblins were quite entertaining. There were a few slow-motion issues i had. (i don't like slow motion)

SCORE / SOUND: 4/7 - (nothing special)
Nothing has a brilliant score lately. This was pretty much exactly what you'd expect.

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 5/7

- I die. You die. We all die. Bye-bye.
- What does he mean, 'we all die'?
- I think he means... we all die.

Interesting Facts -
- ummm... i got nothing.

GATTACA

2008-07-31T03:14:00.001-07:00

GATTACA (1997)
Seen on DVD 31st July 2008

The future freaks me out!

STORY: 4/7
The movie opens on the HORRORFYING premise that in the future we will have designer babies all over the place. If you don't have PERFECT genes, then you will basically be doomed to a shit life from birth. Vincent isn't perfect, but Jerome is, so basically, Vincent uses every trick possible to BECOME Jerome.

ACTING: 4/7
Uma is BRILLIANT, probably cause she's Uma!! Jude Law and Ethan Hawke are also pretty cool actually.

CINEMATOGRAPHY / VISUAL EFFECTS: 5.5/7
It's a really cool looking movie... EXCEPT there's un upside down sex scene. What the heck is the point with the upside down sex scene?? and it's next to a window, next to the ocean, so it looks like they're floating upside down over the ocean on some rocks. (it really got to me)

SCORE / SOUND: 3.5/7
To be honest... i don't remember the score AT ALL

SONGS: N/A:

OVERALL: 4.5/7

Interesting Facts -
- "GATTACA" is composed entirely of the letters used to label DNA (adenine, thymine, cytosine, and guanine)
- This is where Uma and Ethan hooked up!

Chasing Amy

2008-07-31T02:39:00.001-07:00

Chasing Amy (1997)
Seen on DVD 30th July 2008

Ben Affleck should ALWAYS wear pants.

Some say it's the worst of the Kevin Smith - Jay and Silent Bob series... but it is totally the best, in refference to actually great movies with stories and emotions.

STORY: 5/7 - (I went through something like what you're talkin' 'bout, 'couple years ago, this chick named Amy.)
So Holden and Banky are the succesful creators of the comic book "Bluntman and Chronic" based on family favourites Jay and Silent Bob. All is going well for them until Holden meets, and falls for Alyssa. She is smart, funny, brilliant, talented and... well... a lesbian.

ACTING: 5/7 - (I love you, I always will. Know that. But I'm not your fucking whore)
Joey Lauren Adams is the show stealer here as Alyssa. I totally believe every word that comes out of her mouth!

CINEMATOGRAPHY / VISUAL EFFECTS: 3/7
Nothing all that special in refference to cinematography.

SCORE / SOUND: 4.5/7
If Kevin Smith is involved you're almost guarenteed an awesome soundtrack of cool alternative music.

SONGS: 4/7 - (Alyssa totally sings a song)
Alyssa is a surprisingly good singer, especially after the "she THINKS she can sing" introduction.

*Jay and Silent Bob*

- HERE'S A BIT OF A SPOILER -
An Extended Quote From The Movie.

I love you. And not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. And it's not because you're unattainable. I love you. Very simple, very truly. You're the epitome of every attribute and quality I've ever looked for in another person. I know you think of me as just a friend and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But I can't do this any longer. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, because I've never felt this before, and I like who I am because of it. And if bringing it to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But I couldn't allow another day to go by without getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And I'll accept that But I know some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, that means you feel something too. All I ask is that you not suppress that - at least for ten minutes - and try to dwell in it before you dismiss it. There isn't another soul on this *beep* planet who's ever made me the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it's there between you and me. You can't deny that. And even if we never speak again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of you and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.

Overall: 5/7

Interesting Facts -
- Joey Lauren Adams was dating Kevin Smith at the time of filming.
- Joey Lauren Adams wrote the song she sings
- Kevin Smith wrote three issues of the "Bluntman and Chronic" comic book
- The Button on Hooper's jacket says "The Black Man is God"

Earth Girls Are Easy

2008-07-27T20:39:00.000-07:00

Earth Girls Are Easy (1988)
Seen on DVD 27th July 2008

I have to really doubt whether or not this can be called a musical. it has FOUR songs!
Count 'em... FOUR!

STORY: 4/7
Three aliens Mac (Jeff Goldblum,) Wiploc (Jim Carrey) and Zeebo (Damon Wayans) crash land on earth, in Valerie's (Geena Davis) pool. She then has to help them fit in on earth while they fix their spaceship.

ACTING: 2/7 - (but in a GOOD way!)
This movie is just so extremely 80's. The acting is terrible... but that just makes it even more fun!

CINEMATOGRAPHY / VISUAL EFFECTS: 2/7
I don't really think there was much of either. The fur suits that the "aliens" had on in the start were pretty cool.

SCORE / SOUND: 3/7
The non-musical songs used on the soundtrack were pretty funny and fun. They totally used The B52's and that was awesome... "It's the summer of love-love-love, I'm in love with the love-love-love"

SONGS: 5/7 - (Grab the bleach, she's seen the light!)
When they actually do decide to sing, it's FUN FUN FUN

*Cause I'm A Blonde*

OVERALL: 5/7 - (FUN FUN FUN FUN FUN)

Interesting Facts -
- The alien language is just the dialogue backwards.
- Geena Davis and Jeff Goldblum worked together previously on "THE FLY" (1986)

Starship Troopers

2008-07-27T19:25:00.000-07:00

Starship Troopers (1997)
Seen on DVD 27th July 2008

Service Guarantees Citizenship!

I absolutely adore this movie. It is just so much fun. From the horrible killing of the screeching evil bugs... to the awesome infomercials which push the films storyline along.

- WOULD YOU LIKE TO KNOW MORE? -

STORY: 4/7 - (Join the Mobile Infantry and save the Galaxy)
Johnny Rico is a clean cut boy from Buenos Aires, who joins the Federal Service to become a citizen. Unfortunately for Rico, Earth is attacked by giant bugs and he is sent to war!!

ACTING: 4/7 - (You're some sort of big, fat, smart-bug, aren't you?)
Totally over-acted, but in the best way possible!!
Casper Van Dien and The Eyebrows (Denise Richards) are great!

CINEMATOGRAPHY / VISUAL EFFECTS: 5/7 - (*insert squelching noise here*)
AWESOME visual effects here. Firstly there's the giant bugs!! Then of course there's the giant bugs getting shot to death. Pure brilliance.

SCORE / SOUND: 4/7 - (wow, lots of 4's here)
Pretty cool score. nothing all that special, but still pretty good.

SONGS: N/A

- Are you doing your part ? -

GORE RATING: 5/7 - (Here's a tip: Aim for the nerve stem, and put it down for good)
Some nice exploding bugs... lots of green slime. some big open wounds too... and there's the scene where the guy fingers into the big empty head wound!

OVERALL: 6/7
"Violence has resolved more conflicts than anything else. The contrary opinion that violence doesn't solve anything is merely wishful thinking at its worst"

Interesting Facts -
- A few life-size robot arachnids were built.
- Director Paul Verhoeven never read the whole novel.

Leprechaun

2008-07-26T21:36:00.000-07:00

Leprechaun (1993)
Seen on DVD 27th July 2008

Part of the Leprechaun Box Set - (Leprechaun 1, 2 & 3)

Well, i can't believe that THIS is one of the movies set to be remade in the coming year.

STORY: 4/7 - (Try as they will, and try as they might, who steals me gold won't live through the night)
So basically, Mr O'Grady catches a leprechaun, and therefore gets to steal his gold! Only the leprechaun isn't that willing to let go of his gold. O'Grady manages to trap the leprechaun before it can kill him.

cut to - ten years later. Jennifer Aniston and her father are moving into the old O'Grady place and what's this... a crate in the basement with a four-leaf clover on it. Hmmmm... i wonder how this is gonna turn out.

ACTING: 2/7 - (You only got away because me powers are weak! I NEED ME GOLD!)
This movie is really quite funny. Warwick Davis (probably best known for his roles in "Willow" and the Harry Potter series) plays an over-the-top leprechaun who relies on make-up and campness to carry the role and Jennifer Aniston is, well, Jennifer Aniston.

CINEMATOGRAPHY / VISUAL EFFECTS: 3/7
The Leprechaun himself looks pretty cool. However the green "magic" that comes out of his fingers is just laughable.

SCORE / SOUND: 4/7
Pretty memorable theme. Quite evil and brooding.

SONGS: N/A

GORE RATING: 3/7
A nice policeman's night-stick-in-the-eye scene.

OVERALL: 3/7
(What do I look like, me lad? See the hat? The buckles on me shoes? Why, I'm a Leprechaun!)

Interesting Facts -
- Jennifer Aniston's first movie
- First movie released in 1993

Paranoid Park

2008-07-24T21:09:00.001-07:00

Paranoid Park (2007)
Seen on DVD 25th July 2008

Dir - Gus Van Sant
Written - Gus Van Sant / Blake Nelson

Based on a novel by Blake Nelson.

I LOVE Gus Van Sant. His movies always look absolutely beautiful. I have been interested in him ever since i saw "Elephant" (2003) and Paranoid Park definitely lives up to the expectations. It possibly out-does them.

STORY: 6/7 - (no-one's ever really ready for paranoid park)
Alex (talented newcomer Gabe Nevins) is your average young kid. Has good friends, a girlfriend and loves skating. The thing is, he accidently cause the grisly death of a security guard. The movie starts with Alex writing in a journal, telling the story of what happened as he slowly pieces it together in his mind. You will eventually see every part of the story, some aspects re-told a few times as they gain greater meaning.

ACTING: 6/7
I think that Van Sant's choice to use unknowns / first timers in his movies is GREAT! The subject matter that he deals with best is the uneasiness of ebing a teenager, and nothing can tell that more clearly than an uneasy teenager. Gabe Nevins blew me away in this role!!

*Gabe Nevins

CINEMATOGPRAHY / VISUAL EFFECTS: 7/7 - (Skating)
As i said earlier, Van Sant films always look spectacular! Cinematography was by Christopher Doyle, who worked with Van Sant on "Psycho." (1998) The whole movie has a nice slow-moving feel, with some really interesting skate scenes.

*the look of Paranoid Park

SCORE / SOUND: 6/7 - (Elliot Smith)
Lots of lovely acoustic-sounding alternative tracks used to soundtrack as well as some nice soothing classical pieces. Elliot Smith, who is brilliant, appears on the soundtrack multiple times!

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 6/7
("I'm not much of a creative writer")

Interesting facts -
- The teenagers in the film were all cast through myspace.

Suburban Commando

2008-07-24T18:55:00.000-07:00

Suburban Commando (1991)
Seen on DVD 24th July 2008

Christopher Lloyd!
Hollywood Hulk Hogan!!
And... SHELLEY DUVALL!!!

Heck Yes!

STORY: 2/7
Hulk Hogan is Shep Ramsey, an intergallactic soldier who has crash landed on earth after destroying an evil would-be ruler-of-the-universe. He then goes to live with Charlie, Jenny and their kids.

ACTING: 1/7
SHELLEY DUVALL MIGHT BE THE WORST ACTRESS IN THE WORLD!!

CINEMATOGRAPHY / VISUAL EFFECTS: 2/7
Looks like a VERY early-nineties movie.

SCORE / SOUND: 4/7
Pretty good here actually. Sometimes a little bit Elfman-esque even.

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 3/7

So bad it's good.

Interesting facts -
- Shelley Duvall is the worst actress ever.
- Special effects technician Michael Colvin was accidentally killed on the set
- Hulk Hogans real name is Terry Gene Bollea
- Hulk Hogan is the single most requested celebrity for the Make-A-Wish Foundation

South Park: Imaginationland

2008-07-24T18:34:00.000-07:00

South Park: Imaginationland 2007/2008
Seen on DVD 24th July 2008

So um... this doesn't have an IMDB page, cause it isn't really a movie. it's just three episodes of south park packaged together, uncut, in a dvd.

They are from series 11 of the show. Episodes 10, 11 and 12.

STORY: 5/7
Well, cartman makes a bet with kyle that if leprechauns are real kyle will suck his balls (a brilliant premise.) They find a leprechaun, but he tells them that terrorists are coming to take over their imaginations, the mayor of imaginationland then takes the boys into their imaginations where they meet all kinds of crazy imaginary creatures from tv and movies. The terrorists then come and take control of imaginationland, letting all of the evil imaginary creatures run free.

As it goes on, butters is left in imaginationland, and it is up to him to save the day. Kyle and Stan are recruited to help the american government fight the terrorists, and cartman gets a court order to get his balls sucked.

ACTING: ummm?
it's southpark. enough said?

CINEMATOGRAPHY / VISUAL EFFECTS: 5/7
This "movie" actually looked REALLY REALLY good! the scene where the terrorists first attack (a tribute/spoof of the Omaha Beach Scene from "Saving Private Ryan") is AMAZING!!

SCORE / SOUND: 6/7
Brilliant use of music, some of the regular south park goodness, and then there's the movie-score spoofs: "LOTR" and "Stargate."

SONGS: N/A (unfortunately)
Unless you want to count... "Imagination... imagination... imaginaaaation..."

OVERALL: 6/7

Interesting Facts -
- Some of my favourite things are in this movie!
- AZLAN!
- Alien

- Freddy Krueger!

Spawn

2008-07-24T18:12:00.000-07:00

Spawn (1997)
Seen on DVD 24th July 2008

A trip down memory lane.

I totally remember watching this when i was little... and unfortunately it was nowhere near as cool as i rememberred.

STORY: 4/7 - (Aren't there any normal people left on Earth, or is everybody just back from hell?)
Pretty cool story really. So Al Simmons is a CIA agent (0r something) who has been chosen by Satan to lead his army in the war against heaven, so he is killed, and then sent back to earth all burnt and gross and filled with demonic magic! The only issue is... he still has a concience, and doesn't wanna be evil.

ACTING: 3/7 - (You sent me to Hell, Jason! I'm here to return the favor!)
John Leguizamo did really well as the clown/the violator but everyone else in this movie was just quite... lame really. totally over-acted, and notin a good way.

Leguizamo as the Clown

CINEMATOGRAPHY / VISUAL EFFECTS: 3.5/7 - (This one of a kind necroplasmic armor can be yours for the teeny price of your soul)
It's a hard choice here, some effects, such as the "armor" and the cape and stuff are totally awesome!! Then there's the other crap. Hell looks like a really cheap screen saver or something.

SCORE / SOUND: 4/7 - (pretty good)
Nothing special. The score was vaguely dramatic and interesting, all the songs used in the soundtrack were your average "horror movie soundtrack."

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 4/7
("How come God gets all the good followers, and we're left with the retards?")

Interesting facts -
- John Leguizamo actually ate live maggots for his role!!
- Tim Burton was the first choice to direct (why oh why didn't he)

The Crucible

2008-07-23T01:42:00.000-07:00

The Crucible (1996)
Seen on DVD 23rd July 2008

Based on the play by Arthur Miller

WITCH! You're a wicth! and she's a witch!
That lady over there... and that guy too...
EVERYONE IS A WITCH!

STORY: 3/7 - (you are with satan!)
The story of the Salem witch hunt...
So there's a bunch of girls worshipping satan, and then everyone is worried about satan, and witchcraft, so the girls end up accusing EVERYONE of witchcraft. Oh, and there's some blood drinking.

ACTING: 4/7
Daniel Day Lewis and Winona Ryder are both quite good. And the supporting cast is pretty great too.

CINEMATOGRAPHY / VISUAL EFFECTS: 3.5/7
Quite dark looking movie... very BLUE. looks like an oil painting.

SCORE / SOUND: 3.5/7
Meh.

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 4/7

Interesting facts -
- Based on a true story
- Abigail Williams ended up a whore.

Picnic At Hanging Rock

2008-07-22T20:52:00.001-07:00

Picnic at Boring Rock (1975)
Seen on DVD 23rd July 2008

Oh, sorry, i mean Boring at Hanging Rock.

Sorry again... Picnic at Hanging Bore.

Adapted from Australia's most boring book is... Australia's most boring movie!

STORY: 1/7 - (nothing happens)
Some girls go to visit a big rock. They wander up onto the rock and never come back.

ACTING: 2/7 - (nothing happens)
A bunch of girls sit on the grass. Some walk up a rock.

CINEMATOGPRAHY / VISUAL EFFECTS: 3/7 - (nothing happens)
Panning shots of a rock.

SCORE / SOUND: -4/7 - (Pan Pipes)
Yes, that's right, the first negative score.
Hey, nothing's happening. Queue the pan pipes.

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 1/7 - (nothing happens)

NOW... this is when it gets interesting...
I have a brilliant theory that people keep telling me is total bullshit... but when you add this one simple factor to the story... everything becomes a BILLION times more interesting.

So...

A bit of a RE-NAME and here we go...

MIRANDA IS THE DEVIL (1975)
Seen on DVD 23rd July 2008

An interesting story about how evil takes the form of innocence to destroy all it can.

STORY: 5/7
Miranda is loved by all who see her. She seems like the personification of beauty and innocence. When going on an excursion to hanging rock, she convinces a group of girls to follow her onto the dangerous rock, where she then leads them to the doorway of hell. Unfortunately, the one girl she wanted isn't there: Her lesbian lover, Sarah. Miranda then torments her school principal over Sarah.

ACTING: 4/7
Anne Lambert does a brilliant job. All it takes is a long pause ora tilt of the head for her to convey her evil intentions with the audience.

CINEMATOGRAPHY / VISUAL EFFECTS: 4/7
Everything is bleak and slow. A very interesting take on how Satan would view earth.

SCORE / SOUND: -4/7
Those pan pipes are still really annoying.

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 4/7

A chilling story. "Everything begins and ends at exactly the right time and place."

Interesting facts -
- Anne Lambert got the role of miranda because the other choice was too fat.
- All of Edith's line's were dubbed by another girl.
- Anne Lambert is in "Somersault" (2004)

The TV Set

2008-07-22T17:47:00.000-07:00

The TV Set (2006)
Seen on DVD 22nd July 2008

If I don't worry about the content in my show, then I'm part of the problem. I'm making the world more mediocre!

FUNNY FUNNY FUNNY movie!! I don't even know why i waited this long to see it.

STORY: 4.5/7 - (they wanna pick up the show)
So it's Pilot season and Mike Klein (David Duchovny) has pitched a script. He has the actors he wants, and he is sure of his story, it's different, but GREAT! Now all he has to do is survive the pitching... get approval of his actors... get the show filmed, editted, tested... and then just wait to see if the network even wants to air it.

ACTING: 4.5/7 - (it seems original, and original scares me)
Well, first of all... SIGOURNEY WEAVER!! I think i've loved pretty much everything she's ever done. The character of Lenny is so over-the-top and out-loud funny, and Sigourney simply OWNS the role. David Duchovny is funny because he's so dry... and Ioan Gruffudd is totally british! (haha.) It also has Judy Greer and Justine Bateman who are both AMAZING!

CINEMATOGRAPHY / VISUAL EFFECTS: 3/7 - (you can't just shoot from a dolly?)
Not much special in terms of cinematography here. pretty straight forward.

SCORE / SOUND: 5/7 - (quirky)
It's a really fun cute quirky score. i like that!

SONGS: N/A

OVERALL: 5.5/7

Everyone always wonders, "can Xena be funny?" and i'm the one who's saying "FUCK YES! Let's do it! I've always believed that Lucy Lawless has a great half hour comedy in her."

interesting facts -
- The role of Lenny was written for a man.
- After casting Sigourney Weaver as Lenny, NO changes were made to the script at all.